sheLOVEHIM.

fun

2007-05-12T20:29:00.000+08:00

exam is officially ended yesterday!
therefore when out with alicia, niying, vvian, mayvelle & rachel.
had alot of fun and laughter.
took neoprints & photos.
i love the neoprints.
althought got some fuuny pose & all.
but at least i didn't look as retarded as last time that why i love it!LOL!
xD

today went to alicia's house.
as planned to go cycling at changi beach.
went i reached alicia's house, niying & vvian is there already.
watched some movie & had lunch then head to changi beach.
ps: i almost fall asleep at alicia's house!
when reached there, realised that there is no place that rent bicycle.
so when to beach for a walk.
then head to down town east.
& sort of went home with niying after that.
x)

a surprise is waiting for me.
& i am waiting for that surprise.
hahaha!

awaiting surprise. xD

awaiting for the next sunrise

2007-05-10T21:38:00.001+08:00

I LEFT ONE PAPER!!!
ohmygosh!
it finally end.i am stress-free!
tomorrow is chinese listening, that why i am so happy!as i can't study listening!
but today biology paper is,OHMY!
i stay up last night, only slept for 15mins & the rest of the time studying!
& guess what, the paper came up with question that i didn't really study much on!
made me feel so pissed off!
but thanks daphne for telling me to memorise my notes better.
therefore i can remember!even until now the notes is still in my brain!LOL!

anyway, went some where with someone today after exam.
hang around to wait for the shop to open as we are early.
& she so nice!she brought chocolate for me!haha.
on the way home saw yeyeng, & she was so high over this boy that she think he is cute.
but too bad that boy is younger than me!LOL
then the retarded me did something so stupid!
i went to tap my ez-link card on the thingy that is out of service!
as i didn't notice cause i was messaging!ohman!
had my beauty sleep for around 4 hours.
then skipped all my meals. so i didn't eat anything.& i don't really feel hungry!
& this is all of my nice day!
i can't wait for tomorrow!
going out with alica, niying,mayvelle, vvian and rachel lim.
i hope we can eat carl junior cause i really want to eat!
& i think we going to have alot of fun tomorrow as i heard that rachel lim very funny!LOL!
awaiting for the sun to rise!xD

my money!

us money!

jap. money!

class peeps:

wifey!

rachel!

wifey&hubby<3

kiss you!

our SYF:

syf day!

GUITAR peeps:

reflection

guitarist!

angelyn is not ready!

<3

smile!<3

beverly<3

we love to do this!LOL.

we had alot of FUN!<3

it end with a beauitful photo!<3

above is some photos i suppose to post long time ago.
love!

2007-05-08T14:35:00.000+08:00

9 papers down; 3 more to go & 3 days left.
account was manageable.
i study for the theory part but then when i saw the question my mind was blank!
feeling like killing myself man! argh!
i guess, i won't be able to get what target i set for all the papers.
HAIS.

my head was very pain during account.
thanks goodness when it very pain i was going to finsh the paper already.
if not i will die man!
during the paper saw someone.
& then i have no mood to continue my paper.
but then i force myself to concentrate & don't think of anything.
therefore i managed to finish the whole paper with one blank.

when i see you...
i just can't bring myself to be nice to you.
i just can't smile infront of you.
i just can't don't feel angry.
i getting more & more mean to you.
but guess what.
you are even more mean than me.
until i can't believe all this is going on.
i don't understand you as before.
or perharp i don't even understand you from the very beginning.

OHCRAP!

feeling down

2007-05-07T16:45:00.000+08:00

8 papers down; 4 papers to go & 4 days left.
i cried.cause of math & physic.
from the first paper until now, i think i will fail all.
as in i have no confidence i will get what i want.
i seriously still feel like crying now!hais!

ALICIA THANK YOU LOT!
you are always there for me when i am sad.
you always cheer me up with your "retardness"LOL
you simply rock!
you always there when i am up or down!
you the BEST MAN!
although i am not like you, always there for you
but i really apprecitate it lot!
THANKS YOU ALICIA!

i don't know how to explain how i feel now.
but i just too sad to get angry.
i can't even concentrate to study for my paper tomorrow!
why do you suddenly mess up my life..
i don't know what should i do now.

wth!

math

2007-05-06T22:33:00.000+08:00

i am worry for my math.
i feel so tried now yet i don't dare & can't sleep.
how irritating it can be.
will i fail? i really hope i will know the answer now.
oh God! please be with me. i don't want to fail for my math.
& i can't afford to fail too! x(

feeling super down now.
due to the exam stress.
i need to "strong" until friday.
then i can go play until i drop.
got to go study again when the time now is 10.37pm & i suppose to be sleeping not studying!x/

ohgosh!for goodness sick.
God please bless me for this week.
i just need a peaceful & enjoyable week!
MISERABLE!

i wish

2007-05-05T16:13:00.000+08:00

sometime;
i wish i am still a little kid
i wish i can live with not trouble
i wish i will never understand what is sadness
i wish i can be irresponsible at times
i wish i will never grow up
i wish i will never want to understand this world
i wish there is no such thing call books
i wish i can do what ever things i want
i wish i can be a music teacher
i wish i am a music talent person
i wish i am allow to chase for my dream
i wish this world only fill with nice people
i wish i am not myself
i wish i never born in this world...

suppose to be mugging now. but i cant concentrate.
& therefore i going to suffer later.
gonna really force myself to concentrate after blogging.hais.

i don't feel right.
something make me not to a cheerful kid.
what wrong?i wonder...

congratulation!

2007-05-04T11:45:00.000+08:00

firstly, SYF is over for all the pfa group. whatever we had achieved for the school.i am really very happy about it.& first time i feel so proud for all the pfa group and guitar girls that we had put in our best and done the school proud!GOOD JOBS & CONGRAT!

next, is to my sister and brother. my sister finally found a job she want/can do, less than a day, & she is working now.which is good for me in another way as she can treat me a lot of things now!xD
& for my brother he had got into both the courses he wanted to go in both NTU & NUS.just that he need to choose which school he want to go. so CONGRAT to them.

okies.now is all the crap and story time.
english and chinese paper 1 was okies. THANK YOU SARAH CHAN for telling me the letter writing formal if not i will be crying now. then paper 2 was okies for english, chinese was OHMY! it was really very difficult!only like less than half of the paper was manageable!hais.Social studies, hope will score well for SEQ but i had already lost 7-10 marks or so. as the first question of SBQ i already don't know how to do!HAIS!& today geography, lost 5 marks already. as i wrote wrong & crappy answer i just hope ms wendy won't kill me.i am speechless now. i just hope the rest of the papers i will score well. but than is difficult. i have no confidence for math and biology at all! i am really worry now & it make me feel like crying now!x(

anyway, can't wait for exam to end. as cca will resume again. therefore, maybe i will be more free than both & i going to SACPS to help up again. i miss the little kids there!they are simply too cute!
saw ruien and piere pang yesterday at airport & they waved to us. & piere pang is super funny and friendly he went around to take ruien and the other staff of mediacorp hands to wave at us. make us can't stop laughing.& he is very build too, as he change in the public but he didn't half naked himself.ps: the us was refering to jaslin, natalie, melissaLIM, michelle, may, valerie & loretta. HAHAHA!

BIG NOTICE:
SACGE performing at a concert with TPJC @ TPJC on 26th May(saturday)the ticket is $8.& is worth it to come for the concert so please come & support SAC guitar girls and other schools too!THANKS!xD

got to take a nap now as i didn't sleep for the past 2 night.my eyes going to close now!night people!xD

6 papers down, 6 more paper to go & 7 days left!x/

STUDY!

2007-04-23T21:40:00.000+08:00

this few days, i have been studying like mad.
cause i really want to aim a GwH for my mid.
i don't wan any C grade.
which is highly unlikely be possible.
OHMY!

i have been mugging really hard.
even now having slight fewer.
i still don't wanna rest.
i just feel wrong resting while i can use the time to study.
HAIS.

AIM FOR THE WEEK:
.finish biology, math, geography, account notes
.revise for math, physical, biology, account and more
.gonna mug for every second i have

GOLD WITH HONOURS!!!

2007-04-19T20:33:00.000+08:00

woke up 4plus today.i was really nervous.went to school, run through again, make up, breakfast, pray from the school and ms loh then HEAD TO SCH!
thinking from the first practice we had until now, i really feel like crying.*i know is stupid to cry in front of a computer but i can't help it. i had been waiting for this SYF, seeing the whole school wishing you all the best. seeing yourself contribute something to the school. and also work at a big family, a big team to achieve what we wanted!and now WE GOT IT!!! GOLD WITH HONOURS!we had been working so hard for it.
there are practices that was really bad, good, fun, sad and angry.but without all this experience we won't be able to come here today.we had gone through so many things which are unforgettable, which will always be in my heart.which bring us from different classes to a ensemble that learn together, to have fun together, to grow together, to bond as a BIG FAMILY.we are also bless that GOD had sent us MR CHOO.he just like the father of the family, imagine a family don't have a father. so MR CHOO is very important to us. he is such a wonderful instructor! he and SAC GE really deserve this GOLD WITH HONOURS!
to all the guitar girl and mr choo: i will never forget every second of time we had together. we work so hard and now we deserve what we want. i am really happy and proud. we had really make the school proud. without any single one of you, i won't be happy now. i really thank GOD that i am belong to this BIG FAMILY and appreciate every of your hard work. lastly, of course i will miss every single one of you people!
ps:senior please do visit us more often. we will surely miss all your pretty faces. xD

i just feel like going back to prepare of SYF. i miss it like MAD!!!

"...the only blame I cast is on myself... for wanting the happiness I couldn't have... and still now, can't believe I deserve..."

understand yet confuse

2007-04-18T00:34:00.000+08:00

the past 2 days was a disaster. i am so emotional. as i am really stress, due to the amount of projects that needed to hand in at one go and amount of homeworks and also partly cause of SYF(?)hais. i feel like breaking down.
i feeling emo now.it like very late now but i cant sleep. is like something make me don't feel save at all. so i cant sleep peacefully.this time round i am really stress up, all my pimples is coming up.but still thanks to natalie, michelle and natassia for cheering me up yesterday and lighten my job by completing SS project without me doing anything. i feel really bad now. but still a billion thanks to them.
yesterday i only didn't bring a workbook for the first time and teacher scolded me for not bring her books alot of time.yet i need to keep quiet to admit that i really didn't bring her book alot of time.i can admit that is my fault for not bring her book.but please get the fact right first.i hate being accuse!

my heart feel unsafe. it make me feel even more tired. i have been torture by stress from times to times. i choose to keep it all to myself. i just want to cry in my own space at my own freedom.leaving me alone make me feel even more sad yet i want it as i can really let everythings out.keeping it in my heart make me feel out of breath. i will just die.

i don't know what happened to me.i feel so disappointed, sad and stress this few days. now i am worry. i don't know what will happened in school later on. things haven't been going right this few days. i don't know how to solve all the problems. i just feel like scream at all the problems and want them to leave me. i am at the stage of turning crazy. monday night i was so stress and i didn't even want to go to school yesterday.i just need to drag myself to school.

"... lost in the darkness of my own circumstance, criticizing echoes leaving me awake in the night... the barrier and blockades that keep me safe and in control while I pretend that I am okay... "

if it fated

2007-04-06T21:10:00.000+08:00

whoo.
my blog is so dead! didn't blog for so long.
simply because i am really busy and hardly can come online.

anyway had a very fun day today!
went out with natalie,michelle and alaine.
as we plan to study together but end up most of time we were shopping.
went suntec and MS.
saw alot of sacian but not someone.
but me and michelle had a very strong feeling that we will see someone we want to see.
saw siewcheng with her friends at mango;
natassia and melody at city hall;
natassia and amelia and her sister at MS;
and michelle's cousin;natalie's friends and alaine's senior.
one outing we can see so many people we know. YAY!
maybe will post some picture soon.
waiting for 17april we going kbox together.with group of my classmates. WHOO!

13 more days to my syf.
i am so worry whenever i thought of it and i will feel like crying.
i really don't wish that all our afford will go into drain.
people said that we have no expression, song is boring, we reaching the gold soon but still not there.
to me the song will be boring without expression and therefore we still not at gold i guess.
i don't know what can we do to make the ensemble to have at least little expression.
they really need to feel the music, understand the music, move with the music.
put yourself into the music everyone, you gals have been playing it countless time but still you all don't have any expression.i am really worry.what can we do to have some improvement?
maybe you all should go experience how MD feel when ID got gold with H. they really feel the stress and some of them even cried.seeing them like this i feel ashamed, everyone of them know how important is SYF to tell and their target is GOLD. i don't know about the guitar girl but i know someone us also know how important is SYF just that maybe not all.
if you have no heart in SYF, will you really work hard for it?

someone have been miss calling me like mad today.MADNESS!

sick

2007-03-28T19:56:00.000+08:00

it has been long seen i last posted!
due to com. was down and i am really busy now.

i am really stress up with all the project, homework and all.
but still i am happy half of the time cause of my goody friends.
yesterday,went to buy pencil box with michelle, my wifey jaslin, natalie, rachel and may.
brought the same pencil as michelle!WHOOHOO!COOL!

last friday was GENUS concert.
first time had qinghua sit beside me.
was quite fun and enjoyable night i had.
took quite a number photo, gonna post it soon.
the best part was i given a COOLEST name for DAPHNE ANG.
it is: ANG DAO! and i gave her this name cause she every time very DAO.
then her surname is ANG. so ANG DAO!
and ANG DAO = RED BEAN! LOL

didn't go for cca today.
having a very bad flu and feeling damn weak.
so i went home with niying.
but still i don't feel any better.
missed the best part of the day which is ANG DAO WEAR CLOG SHOE AND STOCKING!!!
even though i miss it but i know it is very funny.LOL!

everyone is sick.
so take care and drink lots of water.
i just realise an apple a day keep a doctor away: it is fake!
i eat apple every days and i still fall sick!
stupid stupid stupid!

overload!

2007-03-18T19:41:00.000+08:00

i just hope tomorrow won't come!
this week is really SIAO.CRAZY!
mon.wed.fri got cca.
and friday the whole day i wont be free,and thursday got tutorial, tuesday have board meeting(i guess)
so how am i going to do my project by this week!?!
the teachers know that SYF is coming!
and they still give us TONS AND TONS OF HOMEWORKS, TESTS AND PROJECTS.
cant they lighten our workload for just this few months!
worst still, i had a irresponsible class rep that doesn't tell us there is a project.
until my nice friend called and tell me the project due TOMORROW!
full of crap lah!
don't think that is my responsible to ask my rep when my teacher only tell her not the whole class.
so how on the earth would i know until someone tell me.

let me complain for once.cause i am really pissed!
i am fucking irritated now!*sorry for that word.

craplah!

2007-03-17T21:31:00.000+08:00

i don't know what to update about.
angelyn want me to post but i have nothing to post about.

around 4-5 more weeks to SYF.
really gonna work super hard for it.
although every one really give in their best.
but i still feel that, it still lack of something.
maybe is the commitment of the leaders and the attitude of the members.
i won't say i am very committed as a leader or my attitude was always right as a member.
as there also time i will be quite slack.
but still everyone need to work on it.
in order to bring the ensemble to another higher level.
until now i really very happy as a ensemble we had made the school proud, after don't know how long?!
so after this 2-3 days of break/rest.
everyone need to work 100 times harder.
GIVE IN YOUR BEST SHOOT!

isawrongfeeling.
fromtheverybeginingialreadyknowbutijustliedtomyself.
nowthemoreiliedtomyselfthemoreiwilltear.
seeingothercanreallyhaveagoodtimewithyou, itriedbutifailed.
eventhoughtyouaresonearmebutitseemlikeyouaresofarawayfromme.
dontyoufindthiswholethingsisacrap.itjustmakemelaughandcry.

SAC Guitar Ensemble

2007-03-16T18:32:00.000+08:00

i'm here to blog again.
sorry for waiting, i just plain lazy!

anyway let me start my story:

monday:
normal school day during the holiday-.-"
everyone just cant focus cause we want our HOLIDAYS!!!
stay back to help up with the sec 1.
first time in my life, i heard mr choo shouted!
me and angelyn was damn scared but still he was back to normal in the end.
when back after that.angelyn's dad fetched.thanksss(:
friends again with niying the irritating loser and alicia fool.
i simply feel more happy with them around.
they just my goody friends.
whoohoo~~~

tuesday:
school AGAIN!argh!!!
everyone was restless!
see this is a bad idea of having lesson during holidays!!!
school or maybe AC please accept my feedbacks!!! *my first feedback to school!LOL
helped up with angelyn,tiffany and beatrice;beat-the-rice *given by the sec 1. for the sec 1 cca again.
everythings was okies and fine.i'm the last to left.
was waiting for niying, alicia and mayvelle.
they simple just took their USA time!
anyway,went home with alicia and mayvelle.
alicia's mum fetched.thanksss. (:

wednesday:
first day of combine camp.
meet up with daphne then caryn and cheryl went school together.
after taking my guitar went to find niying and alicia passed them sweet and magazine.
left school and head to TPJC around 8.
play play play guitar, lunch then went back to school with account ppl.
before that went to meet natalie and jaslin at coffee shop with amelia.
the whole account workshop suck!
is SUPER DUPER BORING!!!
waste of time only.
anyway,chatted abit with my facilitator, peiwen.exchanged number too!(:
head back home with niying and mayvelle, it was fun and laughter on the way.
HOME SWEET HOME!

thursday
day 2 of combine camp.
when tpjc with daphne, caryn and cheryl.
set up everything in audi. and all the schools arrived slowly.
mr raj conducted gavotte for us.
it was okies. different feel of it.
although is the pieces that i knew it quite well but it seem like quite new to me.
so it was quite a good feel.but i still prefer mr choo conducting
next was combine practice for all ACJC,SAC and TPJC.
well over all was okies.
follow up was sectional for "en la playa" i love this song!
althought cant play really well but it still okies.
the song is really nice.
after so long, here come the COMPETITION!
at first, i wanted to treat it as a practice with mr choo.
but when it our turn to go on stage.
i started trembling! ohmy!
due to the long talk from mr choo and mr raj my trembling stop.
after waiting for so long, result was out!
*beat drum* SAC GUITAR ENSEMBLE WON! whoohoo~~~
we were so happy and started cheering.
with all the hard work and encouragement.
i guess we deserve this trophy!
well done SAC!!!

friday/today:
went to tpjc with same people.
practice abit and head back to school.
after that went to long john with angelyn and sherrill.
while we enjoying our food suddenly a kids shouted reverse psychology.
angelyn,sherrill and me started to laugh!
and we were thinking of the same person,which is mr choo. as he always use that words.LOL.
after that accompany angelyn go cut hair.
and head back home with cab.
the driver is damn scary!
he talk to himself, stare at people, anyhow honk at car or what. is DAMN SCARY!
and when i gave him the money, he have no change and neither do it.
guess what, he drove all the way to eastpoint there to change money and make me walked home!
is so retarded!and he was gave me that look is me who cause all this trouble.
wth!you are the driver, you suppose to have change with you!
he even gave me that look he want to kill me okies!
i was like damn scared and pissed! *what a weird feeling!

overall, i have somethings to say.
althought sac guitar ensemble won.
but i still hope you all will have the right attitude.
this trophy is an encouragement.
use this to push yourself even more harder and futher.
do something to make yourself proud and the school too.
and i also dont wish the same thing to happened again.
cause this is really not what we are.
and getting lecture and all is not what you gals want.
so please think for others too.
is all their effort, appreciate it.

syf preview

2007-03-11T19:39:00.000+08:00

ohman!
tomorrow got school!WTH!
does the school understand what is HOLIDAY!
their english is really WORST THAN MINE!
my one week of holiday, i need to say BYE BYE to it!=(

ohmygosh!
i LOVE SYF CAMP!it ROCKS!
love band's pieces. it left an impression in my heart.
after that was SAC GUITAR ENSEMBLE.
we did a GOOD JOB! first time i played without making so many mistakes!
and i wasn't nervous at all, i guess cause i know i am not the only one on the stage.
is the same as everyone is on the same boat, we support each other to overcome all the wave and disaster to reach our destination!
dances was BEAUTIFUL!
every move was really nice. the dancers really did a FAB. JOB!
overall,i love the whole camp/preview.everyone had gave all they have.
everyone had done their best for that night! =)
ps:heard that syf camp food suck!the foods was SPOIL!!!(is the school really that poor?)

i just realise i had a very tight schedule for term 2.
every week, i had something involve with guitar.
i totally have no confident for my mid-year.

there's only angry-ness

love-free!

2007-03-08T21:41:00.000+08:00

I'm so HAPPY!
after one week of sadness!
smile (=

got back progress report!
is count by tests.
and total got 16 tests, i failed 6 tests, 5 A1s, the rest Bs or Cs.
i know the result really bad, i hope when mid-year come i will have improvemenst!
anyway, english oral was really good.
although i didnt use chim english but i think is the best english oral i ever did in my whole life!
and my english oral teacher is really nice!
yesterday,chinese oral was quite difficult.
just hope i won't score badly.

i don't love anyone now!
i am love-free!
i am so happy!

i just love three-fourians`o7
you gals gave me a wonderful night!
i love 3/4`07, you people ROCKS!!! =))

it know it take times to let everythings back to normal.
but i just hope we will always be friend and remind as good friend forever.
to 3 person.

in mess!

2007-03-05T20:38:00.001+08:00

tried conducting today!
ohmygosh. is DAMN BAD.
is like i didnt conduct properly.cause i am unsure.
hope i will do a better one next time.
wish me luck!

i feeling damn confuse now!
everythings is troubling me.
school,study and more!
i dont know what to do!
i feel like i going to burst out anytime!

at one moment, when i crossing the road, SUDDENLY a car knock me down.and my heart die...

in mess!

2007-03-05T20:38:00.000+08:00

i wanna cry!

2007-03-04T19:52:00.000+08:00

tomorrow alot of things will happen.
so i want to start the week right.
and hope i won't overslept again.
then i wont late for prefect.
so i want everything to be smooth and nice!
so JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU!

ALL TO BEST TO MY SENIORS WHO TAKING 'O' LEVEL CHINESE TOMORROW!=)

stop

2007-03-03T22:07:00.000+08:00

when to national library with my sister today, to study.
okies, evidence of me being GUAI!
then went home and came online until now.
okies, don't think i am naughty.
i just need to enjoy my saturday seen i cant go out and play.LOL!

chatting with angelyn now.
and she is nagging at me now!
keep on calling me blog and somemore must blog LONGER!
and when she writing got sound one and is DAMN LOUD.LOL
she gonna kill me when she see this! :p

new committee will be out by monday.
i will be reminding the same if i not wrong?!
and monday won't be a good day!
getting back my progress cards!
i will really just die!

just had a quarrel with my parent.
if i can i really want to leave this house.
in the very first place it don't even welcome me!
my good mood just being spoiled by them
why must they always spoil my day!

maybe i should stop my feeling.

trap in fate

2007-03-01T21:53:00.000+08:00

half day, and i didn't go out.
went home,planned to study but end up coming online and sleeping.
even though i had my nap i still feel tired now!
and i just realise i haven't do my chinese compo.ARGH!
i feel like sleeping then doing other stuff.

is too obvious to be hide;
is too real to be fake;
is too sad to be happy;
is too hurt to smile;
is too hard to end;
is too difficult for me.

i am trap in no where.

hurt

2007-02-28T20:34:00.000+08:00

no one can understand how i feel now.
the feeling is SO PAIN.
i just feel like i gonna die soon.

all i want is to just like you,
i didnt want anything from you.
it hurting me, you is hurting me.
i am really sad and hurt.
can you tell me what should i do now?

back to normal,please!

sister

2007-02-27T22:24:00.000+08:00

i has a cute and retarded sister!
she so blur lah!
yesterday she lost her movie ticket but today i found it in the kitchen!
how retarded is she!
and when i found it,she thought i am the one who hid it!
she so lame.
anyway, i wonder when will she get a boyfriend.
i am waiting.
i really wonder who will it be!
overall, my sister still very nice!

my body is breaking!it had been aching seen yesterday.
it feel like my bones going to break anytime!
ohmygosh!
anyway, now in class people around me all talk about boy GIRL relationship stuff.
it so interesting!
hahaha!

don't leave me.

girl love

2007-02-26T20:50:00.000+08:00

slack slack!
have 2 hours of free period, cause both of my science teacher never come.
hope tomorrow no SS, although it wasn't really bad. but tomorrow wont be a good day for SS.
math test tomorrow.please!i want to pass this test!
NO FAILS!

i cant get rid of you from my mind.
every of your little action will just affect me.
i have totally no mood to study.
i really wanna CRY OUY LOUD!
it hurt.it sad.it bad.but there are still laughter.
cause is you who can only be the one to make my day.

i decided to tell that person, one day.

feeling & thoughts

2007-02-25T22:40:00.000+08:00

there always up and down in life. so i have to accept the fact.
which is what i am doing now.
but i haven't come to a decision yet.
i don't know should i stay and work harder to become a better leader.
or step down and become a normal student.
both 50/50. so i still need time.
when i come to a decision i hope that i wont regret. if not i will feel even more worst.
amantha told me that, when making decision don't think too much, if not at the end of the day you still haven't come up any decision. so from now on, i just follow my heart and decide anythings, just hope that i won't feel regret with any of my decision.

i don't want to think so much now.
all i want now is focus on my study and guitar(maybe prefect). i dont have other time for other things, i guess.
all i want is to have a better day for tomorrow!

my grandparent's house

my grandparent's old house

the road!

where the chickens stay.

i love to sit on it! x)

my cousins:

done by marilyn, i love it LOTS!

random

my sister

i love her!

lastly; HAPPY PIG YEAR! =)

normal thursday

2007-02-22T21:53:00.000+08:00

everythings is very normal today, nothing good or bad happen.
just that i don't need to pass up CAJ today but tomorrow.
which mean tonight i going to stay up and do my CAJ!

once again, i tried my best to pay attention today during lesson.
and i realise that geography and biology are the subjects that i will always fail for the tests!
i don't know why too.
i studied but my brain just can't take in.
getting progress card soon, i really don't want to see my progress card!
it will just fill with red ink!=(

oh! i saw another HANKIMI book today at popular!
i wanna buy but i don't know what is it about!
but i still want to buy!
and which mean i going to start saving up!
cause my parent eat my ANGPAO money again!

cca tomorrow, hope that tomorrow will be a good day!

is you and the only you.

loving

2007-02-21T20:26:00.000+08:00

i want to slim down!i am sssooooo FAT!
ohmygosh!
i going to stop eating from now on!

i manage to pay attention for math lesson!
the feel of fall in love with math again is coming back.
hope i can manage it throughout this few years but still i don't really understand some part of the lesson!
some kind soul, please enlighten me!

whenever i begin to miss you like mad
or thought that i won't be able to see you again for the rest of the day,
you will just appear in front of me.
and you will just change my cheerless day to a very happy one.
knowing that you still around me, it will just brighten my day!

maybe it will be good if we just maintain like that.

a wish

2007-02-20T20:18:00.000+08:00

chinese new year's holiday is over! =(
had a lot of angbao and ate a lot foods! o.O
overall, this trip back to malaysian is okies.
didn't go shopping at all! cause all the shops was close!
anyway, still happy to see my little cousins.
ohmygosh! they are sooooo cute and innocent.
i just miss my childhood.
how nice if i was still a child.
took a number of pictures of my little cousin and some classy and retro stuff. shall upload if i can. =)
anyway, REBONDED my hair. it doesn't look like VERY straight cause i don't really want.
but still i feel quite okies with it, i guess.

everyone wish me luck tomorrow, i feel damn scared now!!!

is you who make my day.

she need her.

2007-02-15T20:45:00.000+08:00

didn't go for tutorial today, cause i wasn't feeling well*but this is not the real reason
thanks to ms wendy for allowing me not to go.

very moody this few day.
didn't do my homework cause i really cant concentrate
didn't study cause i really cant concentrate
failed all my tests cause i cant remember any single things.*beside her
i really need to wake up but my heart doesn't want.
maybe the new year break is a good time for me to sort out every things.

i am waiting for tomorrow after school
going out with buddy, although only me and her
but i still hope we will have a good time.

youjustlikemysourceofenergy
witouttissourceofenergyitotallycantwork
ireallyneedu
butijusthopeicanjuststayatursidencontinuetolyku
plsdontreatmesocold.

somebody need you

high!

2007-02-13T21:27:00.000+08:00

today rehearsal suck. but thanks to daphne to accompany me to "walk".
what a bad day!
and i am so slow! i didn't even know that my buddy cherie didnt come to school. ohmygosh!
anyway my buddy just rock my life. she totally so cute and nice okies! cherie rock!!!
i just realise, i haven't been blogging anything about guitar for quite sometime. maybe will blog tomorrow seen we are performing for the Japanese student and i will be like the "solo"!
ps: i miss angelyn's tag at my blog!

不知不觉我爱上了你，不知不觉我需要你。
因为你的笑，你的一举一动然我知道你的存在。
而因为你，我才能天天笑得很开心，天天想着你。
也因为你，我不想也不要离开你。
所以，就然我在你身边偷偷爱着你。

my birthday wishes:
be more cheerful
gold with honor for SAC GE SYF2007
with that person at long as possible! =)

let get HIGH tomorrow!

it suck!

2007-02-12T20:41:00.000+08:00

what a "nice" day.
but still, really thanks to all those people for the wishes.
today is the day i can see all the true colours, i guess...

emtruhohwusi.
osepohyllaer metsurtnacuepohyllaertsuji.
udeeniesuac tneserpurrofsknahtyllaerillitstub.

today is not my day, although it suppose to be my.
is going to over in a few hours time.

i'm so regret that i didnt know u earlier.

syf camp

2007-02-11T19:52:00.000+08:00

whoohoo!
so fast, camp is over.
anyway, i enjoy it man.
with my buddy ah liew aka the pebbles(given by caryn and daphne), i had a lot of fun.
both night had supper with daphne, my buddy, caryn and more.
had a lot of fun with them man! we like laughing crapping and CRAPPING!!!
we took pictures too. but i deleted almost half. cause the picture is ugly MA!!!
and didn't have the chance to take photo with janaine. i'm so sad. =(

i love ensemble now!although my fingers hurt!
is like really very pain okies!!!
i enjoy every single pieces and i just feel like moving with it.
everybody, MOVE MAN!!!
anyway, there was improvement but still no expression.
gavotte wasn't really good. rushing as well.
people move with the music and you wont play wrong.
//
video record.
i totally have no face now!
cause i did a lot of stupid things.
ohmygosh!
we also need to carry our niborri guitar to run/walk around the bball court.
and me and sarah is like suffering, our CONTRA is like so BIG.
but, we still had fun and laughter.
//
thanks to mr choo.
everyone gone high yesterday night.
he play and we sang songs together.
and i become his mike stand.
his playing ROCK, our singing ROCK! =)
//
tuesday got rehearsal! i don't want man!i will be alone!
but at least my nice senior is going to accompany me home.
whoohoo!
tomorrow is a special day, however i very scared.
=)
//
having eating problem this few days, i almost everyday eating nuggets to survival.
i didn't even have a proper meal. cause after eating few mouth i am full.
i totally have no appetite. and this had continues for one week.
hope i had slim down cause of this.
and i having mood swing now and then. is like one moment i am sad but later i am HIGH!
OHNO!!!
//
anyway,today when to buy shirt for the tuesday thingy.
and finally i brought something i want, i guess.
i feel like tired now, however i still got tons of homework haven't do.
so i need to do NOW!!!

three persons, know my deepest secret!!!

is you!

2007-02-08T20:05:00.000+08:00

school as usual.
then tutorial.
after tutorial meet daphne and caryn and go eastpoint to eat then walk walk. and the moment with them i just cant stop laughing. we CRAP A LOT. especially daphne i didnt know she so CRAPPY!ohoh! daphne teach me and crayn how to make star using straw. YAYAY!! i know how to make! anyway, actually something very funny happened just now, but i am suffering from STM so i cant remember. =(

SYF camp tomorrow. o level result will be out tmr! good luck to all the o level student!
i miss all the guitar seniors! =(

i didnt know you will affect me until so much. i really need to get over it.

:(

2007-02-07T18:46:00.000+08:00

all i have now is homework homework AND homework
if not it will be test test AND test.
is too stress.

i going to fail all my test. i become so stupid man. all my marks is droping. all my test is a FAIL! i really dont want to see so many red ink in my report card. i really dont want!

why must i know everything? it will be really good if i dont know anything!

WALAO!!!

thanks you!

2007-02-06T17:17:00.000+08:00

okies, i feel so sleepy now. cause i slept at 2 last night and woke up at 6 today. so tired!

anyway, i am so happy today i dont need to pass up CAJ cause if i need to pass up i so going to die. cause i dont have enough articles.YAY!!!not handing up of CAJ today! stayed back today, for prefects meeting. then help the february and january babies to celebrate birthday, so sang song and ate cake!!! prefect council really very nice. =)

need to thanks
michelle chew for helping me with my wound yesterday;
jaslin and natalie for helping me up and down the stairs;
phyllis for carrying my books;
marilyn for helping me to copy my notes;
and teachers who had allowed me to sleep during their lesson. =)

ate 5.1's handmade cornflakes for recess. the cornflakes was really sweet and nice. love it man!!! anyway, i want to check 5.1 for this whole year!!! my duty will end after this term. they are really nice. when you get to know them, they are even more nice!

lastly, a big thanks to DAPHNE, my nice senior who dont bully me but allow me to bully her.
SHE JUST MADE MY DAY, YESTERDAY! thank thank. see, how nice is my senior.

going to take a short nap and do my homework.

i miss the past; cause i love it

2007-02-04T13:04:00.000+08:00

is februray already; one month of school life had just past.
is februray already; here come a new month
is februray already; every things is still the same
is februray already; everyone just live as usual
is februray already; i still continues to lie to myself.
cause i always thought that there are still hope...

around 2 more months to SYF. and i sort of had remember all my SYF pieces.YAY!!!
now i cant wait for SYF camp and the march concert. which i still will go if my parent don't allow.
now cca is more then cca.

for my study... i don't know how. my geography teacher which is my form teacher wanna call my parent cause i forget to bring something for her lesson twice. but in the end, she didn't call. i don't know why too. weird!anyway, never mind. i love account now, trying to understand every single thing that mdm kee said. for math, just hope that i wont fail my standard test which i getting back tomorrow.biology not bad, can understand well, hope that the coming test i can at least get a B or A. the rest of the subjects i trying my best to understand every single thing that the teachers said. just hope my mid-year wont be bad.

yesterday was msging daphne the whole day until now, is more then 24hours, can u believe it!!! but in between we stop for a while. and she a very nice senior which love to bully her junior but still very nice.(hahaha) beside msging, i was in front the computer for like the whole day! just to find blogskins. but in between i went to watch television and have my meal. what a slack saturday! so i need to start MUGGING NOW!!!

again monday tomorrow! oh no!!!

last day of month

2007-01-31T18:39:00.000+08:00

was quite stress and busy the past with days. i want to die liao! is super tiring man!!! and a very big BAD NEW!!! from now on i going to stay back every day after school!!! this is really BOO!! im so tired! and today was mad!! three test in a row, is like one day you have three test. and i totally have no time to study every single subject cause yesterday got rehearsal at SCH!!! i going to faint man!

anyway, 5/1 rock man! when first checking this class i was really worry but actually they are really nice. although i still scared of them(beside daphne;siew cheng and caryn). SUPPORT 5/1!!! they are selling theirs products tomorrow too!!! 5/1 is a batch of nice people!!! =)

bass did a good job today. i'm really happy about it. although i know i very mean, very fierce and what so ever. but i was trying to make you all play louder and move with the music. but you people really did a good job. be proud man!!! keep up the good work! =)

i don't know what will my february be?! but every year february is a very special month for me, cause one of the 2 days will be a big day for me and sis. february is short and sweet!

i just going to faint with all the workload!!!

FAHRENHEIT!!!

2007-01-28T19:44:00.000+08:00

HANA KIMI main character will be at TM tomorrow from 7 onward! should i go? i don't know man. this is my last chance to see WU ZUN before they leave singapore, and i don't know when will be my next. but is 7pm so late and i might be going alone. so i don't know. but i really feel like going. they will be leaving singapore soon. i really don't want to miss this chance. how?!

sometime, i really don't understand what parents for. out of one sudden, i will just got scolding from them for no reason.cant they be more understanding. and so idiot, there's a high chance i cant go SACPS next week to help up. cause my father dont allow, due to a quarrel yesterday morning. walao. it wasn't my fault at all. i just woke up and got scolding, and i had already being nice not to talk bad. when i talk bad, you all scold, when i keep my mouth shout you all also scold. siao people!must well i die better. idiot lah! i had enough of things troubling me, i don't need more!!!
i so don't know how to tell my parent about the concert on 24 march at NUS which i really want to go! ARGH!!!

people really miss camp corri like mad. i trying to get over it, since it really OVER. not going to post photos cause i lazy. anyway, SACIAN(sec 3) is crazy about the instructor, but i think the most popular one will be RAVEN! cause he is cute, young and in basketball. so who wont fall for him?! even i like him, BUT i like him doesn't mean the love like, can just be LIKE it is as simple as that so is up to anyone of you to believe anot.

camp corri`o7, a tremendous camp that will always be in my and everyone hearts!

friday blue

2007-01-26T19:11:00.000+08:00

so embarrassed. when having ensemble my first string busted! thank goodness it didn't burst during any performance, hope it wont burst during SYF if not i will start crying. i don't know why it will busted, i didn't even play on that string and it just busted. so stupid. BOO!

was crazy today, did a lot of crazy stuff. i don't know why i just love sport now. i sort of thinking ways to learn basketball. but i just don't know how. and i want to tan myself. i want to become more tan. anyway, today really mad man. i just went crazy cause of someone in front of my instructor. so ma lu. next time will find the right time to do the right thing man.

don't feel good, as in emotionally. i don't know why. i just miss the camp so much. i just miss every single things and every single souls!and i felt that some thing is missing in my life that why this two days i feel so restless. do i really need that thing now! ohmygosh! how?!

i know is wrong, but all my heart is with you now.

words

2007-01-25T22:40:00.000+08:00

hmm...feeling emotional now.
life had been up and down for me. things doesn't always happened in what i want. not all my wish will come true. i will always face difficulty. there will be time i will be alone, will be crying, will be happy, will be crazy. i had gone through all this, and there are still something more waiting for me. all i have to do is to be strong. but where can i find a source of energy to make me always be strong?i really wonder...

i complain for the unfairness and biasness. and someone told me that this world is unfair. i guess i need to agree with it now. things are really unfair. all i can do is to accept it. this is the world. but, i guess i still have some hope to continues to find my good friend, lover and soul mate.i'm still waiting.

the journey of my life, still a long way more to go. and i learnt some thing from the pulan ubin walk, life is like climbing a hill, when you are walking up hill there will always be a down hill waiting for you. look forward to everyday. =)

miss camp

2007-01-24T18:33:00.000+08:00

back from camp. tired smelly but FUN!!!
3/4 WON THE BEST CLASS CHEER!!! WHOOT~~~
and we took alot of class picture. shall post it when i get the photos!

DAY1: fun;aching;cried;scared;play
had dragon boat at kallang first. was fun and nice but my body is aching! while dragon boating i was screaming and screaming cause i afraid of water and the people was moving and moving so it feel like i going to drop into the water. had battle with other class. and WE WON!!! 3/4 rock!!!after that head to sentosa for trapeze. i cried. cause i was super scared. then my friend is screaming then i cried more louder. when the instructor let go his hand and let me go, i flew off to another end of the net. thanks god i didn't flew out of the net. but it was under my expectation. so stupid i want to swing myself one. but in the end i flew off! stupid!next was night walk! is at ferry point there! i went before. it was quite tiring but we bond more i guess. first night i slept well. =)
Day2:MUDDY;tiring;high;sleepy
pulau ubin, walk and walk. so tiring but had a lot of fun cause we got someone to disturb and play with. we walked for around 4-5 hours and head back to school. the bus trip is fun!team activities. need to pass through a rope. and our class keep on losing but it was okies, at least we complete the whole thing. second night, slept like a pig!
Day3:high;tired;home;miss camp
bukit batok was the last place of the camp that my class went. didn't do any high high stuff. cause not enough time plus i don't dare cause i scared of high.took photo with the weird weird instructor and went back to school.
overall, the camp is an enjoyable. first time! usually i don't really like school camp. but now i love it man! it make me feel like going to obs camp. thanks to every single soul that had made the camp shall a wonderful one! =)

all the test is really coming up! i haven't even rest and i feel stress now!school mad one. i going to die man! SYF and everything is coming up!!! how am i going to cope?

you just dash into my life and left without saying a goodbye.

move witht the music!!!

2007-01-21T20:34:00.000+08:00

WHOOT~~~
i getting high! cause of someone and something! listening to some guitar CD now, songs with strumming, make me feel like moving along with the music. nice! totally cant wait for friday! cca rock man! oh oh! learning strumming now! hope will have some improvement soon! GUITAR ROCK!!!

tomorrow is camp, and i haven't pack my bag. i totally don't feel like packing so i can use the time to play guitar .but i cant! anyway, i hate school camp! i only like guitar or prefect camp! pray that nothing happen during the camp! the camp just so not nice. why school must *force* us to go. also not we want to go one. if they want us to bond more as a class can do other stuff what, need not be camp what. why why why!!! then SYF camp cant overnight! so stupid! that camp should more be overnight loh! anyway, if camp don't have overnight it not a camp is a cca practice! just that the timing is long. i got a feeling that a lot of people cant come or will leave early! cause it will end very late! if overnight will be better loh!!! BOO!!!

anyway, brought my "new wear* clothing. is a white cross back top and purple short! i don't really like it. but bo bian. cause if i don't buy by today, i won't have the money to buy. cause the money is my mummy give one, if i didn't buy any shirt today, she will take back the money! maybe i will save up and buy another one that i like one. after that meet joycelyn, cause she need to pass my track pant. then i saw caryn and daphne! chatted a little and went home.totally saw a lot of sacian at east point!

btw, to all sacian! go look at the year book, class 1/2, 1/3 and 1/4 the back round. and you all can see something weird. it really scary!!!

from next week onward! i going to be siao! cause all the texts and stuffs all coming up! SYF rehearsal at SCH is around the corner!!!

im sad

2007-01-20T20:57:00.000+08:00

went to help up at sacps today, will be going next week too!! all the primary 2 kids is so CUTE!!! eyes big big one, small in size then keep on smiling. they are so cute. cant wait to see them! oh well, me and amatha felt that mr choo really understand the primary 2. (there a reason behind it!) after that, went to airport to eat sakae sushi. and i want the member card! i want i want! anyway, it will be my last good meal before the stupid camp on monday. BOO! we chatted a while then head to starbuck to get amantha's mug and had a cup of mocha with java chip and so on. after that head back to home! =) when reached home, called phyllis cause i going to her house to play guitar. after that we went to east point cause i want to buy FAHRENHEIT's album. i dont is it i shuay or lucky cause when i want to by the cd it is out of stock and one week ago the stock just came in and out of stock now, this shown how popular is FAHRENHEIT. cause cd was out of stock i brought HANA KIMI book, is the autograph collection one!!! which got a lot of photo. =)

actually, today i was happy but i dont know why i feeling sad now. maybe cause i cant go for fahrenheit autograph session. i so want to go but cant go. anyway, hana kimi 1-10 is out. everyone go now! support hana kimi and fahrenheit!!! sad sad sad. feel like crying now! oh no!!!

i cant wait for guitar on friday. i so missit now! i brought prime guitar home to try out some struming and thanks mr choo for lending me the book. i really want cca and no school! btw, my birthday fall on one of the monday, which got school and it will be a long day! cause got cca too! i dont know is i shuay or lucky but i hope nothing bad will happen on that day!

so stupid! i dont know what to do. so stupid. i feeling tired. i dont know who to believe. but it seem that there are still fate. so stupid. maybe it just qiao-he. but even there are still fate, we will never be possible, not even friend. cause is impossible!

unexpecting smile =)

2007-01-19T22:44:00.000+08:00

a wonderful friday! i love friday!
today is a nice and beautiful day! the bigger problem i having now had solved! everyone is back as usual! i love cca today! me and sarah was trying our best to play LOUD LOUD. and our thumb hurt. but is okies.
ps:BASS, you gals did a good jobs, keep it up and you all will have more sweets. hahha. =)

got year book today, did a bit of class cheer. play and lot of lot. today is really a nice day. i can laugh and laugh and laugh. anyway, going to help up at sacps tomorrow and going to phyllis's house after that to play guitar and learn some struming from her. yeah!

i donno is fate anot. but you will always be around me. i dont want and u don want too. but i cant help it. hope it will stop soon. cause it will only bring up the memories.

it only take one second to smile just see whether how you going to smile, how you going to feel.

stress;tired;irritated

2007-01-17T20:39:00.000+08:00

i sort of cant really take it anymore. i guess is too stress and too many things need to do. every time some thing will happened and i will break down. and now is not the right time for me to break down, cause i dont have time. 24hours doesn't seen enough for me. i sort of tired and restless. every days i just do things for the sake of doing it. i not even enjoying myself. the feeling is bad.

my day,week,year suck! whatever things is all my fault, there always be biasness. so this is how should it called fair, i guess. in the very first point they already think that you are in wrong, so what the point of explaining so much when they already had set that mindset. is just wasting the time, i guess. just accept every things whether is good or bad, then if cant take it, just cry out and every things will be back to the same. so won't it be easier?!

every things is so idiot. every time like that. every time i will get blame. what so ever. i guess i had already get use to it. thanks goodness that i didnt burst out today, i mange to control my tears. i just dont freaking get it. i trying my best of every thing, but in the end i will get more and more scolding or lecture. i really dont get it. whatever i do seen wrong. the whole damn thing is so freaking not fair and bias. the world is unfair?! what the. maybe is true that the world is unfair if not there wont be so many riots or strikes. stupid. whatever or so. the whole damn thing is all the biasness. so what the point of talking so much. is super bias! so shut up everyone. what you all said just lie! get lost from my life.

i need a shoulder to lean on.

stupid day

2007-01-15T20:40:00.000+08:00

today is not a good day! feeling very moody now. it feel like i missing something or someone but i don't know what. maybe actually i know just that i don't feel like facing it. heartache. feel like crying. what stupid cum disappointing day.

everything today was bad. had lot of lot of homework. and i know i should be starting it now but my soul is not at my homework now, it at some where else. hais. anyway, knew something very shock. why on the world doesn't God want me to know about it. cause i cant do anything even if i know. but it make me feel worse. everything just seen impossible.

for cca. i don't know what to say. hais. anyway, it wasn't as good as the last practice. mr choo was disappointing. and i feel like dying. totally no mood, no feel. so today playing was bad(for myself). i cant find any more reason for me to go for cca.

super pissed about something. is the biasness that shown and still want to find excuse. what the! if cant be a fair person then as least don't be so bias. it obvious, people not blind or don't have heart.have a limit.i just can't stand it! ARGH! is so irritating!

new hair style

2007-01-14T20:32:00.000+08:00

just cut my hair! i just thin every thing excluding for my front, it was short. and i not tying my hair tomorrow so get to see my new hair style. kuku.

okies now everyone listen up! i got something important need to ask!!! who is going to FAHRENHEIT's autograph session?please "bring" me along. cause i want to go but don't want to go alone. so people tell me if you are going! i want to go!!!

HANA KIMI dvd is out! but the first five episode only. i waiting for vcd! i getting crazy cause of HANA KIMI and FAHRENHEIT. ohno!

it gonna be difficult

what else can i say now?

2007-01-13T20:43:00.000+08:00

suddenly, i have no faith in myself. after yesterday night, when the prefect council was talking to me. i felt that i dont believe or trust myself anymore. cause i dont know even know whether i can be a good leader anot. if i cant, what the point of having me this leader when i cant lead but i have to lead other people. how? i dont know why am i thinking this way?! suddenly i feel like giving up everythings. hais.

went to help up at sacps today. every things was okies. one of the pri one, very cute! the eyes big big one, damn cute lah! omg!anyway, after that went to TM with mr choo,amantha,sherrill, angelyn and sindy. angelyn and sindy didnt join us for lunch. had a fab. lunch and went home after that. but before leaving TM, me,sherrill and sindy went to mj cause i was finding for fahrenheit's cd and i found hana kimi's cd too. i think the hana kimi cd that i saw is the show not the songs one. so i going to buy! need to save up now!

anyway, sec 3 camp corri had cancel the trip to malaysia and it will be in school. so kuku. which mean i have to go. so idiot. cause of the damn flooding and make everyone need to go for the camp. idiot lah! almost the whole sec 3 was unhappy that the camp is in school but happy that they are not going pahang. stupid!

SYF is getting nearer and nearer. and i like over work! cause every day, i need to do prefect,cca and homework stuff. so i like stress up. i dont even have time to revise my works. so kuku. hais. hope i can over come all this asap in a proper way.

sec 3 life is not easy. got alot of works. i really scared that i will fail any of my subject, thanks goodness that standard haven't start yet.hais. everythings just happen in one go and i dont know start from which one. goodness!

stress is something that you must love it instead of hating it.

home sweet home

2007-01-08T18:32:00.000+08:00

just came home from school. finally the day had over! actually, today wasn't really very bad. just okies. but i dont know for tomorrow. hais. anyway, every things was okies until mr hamzah class for biology, i think he was really rude but his teaching was not too bad. when he trying to recap about our notes, he called index number. and i'm so shuay, he called me! so i stand up, and i donno how to answer.OHMYGOSH! from that moment when i stood up i start shivering, even when i had sit down, it took me 15 mins to cool myself down! it was really scary! i really hope he will never call me again! chinese was so-so. quite boring, feel like sleeping. but got sherrill beside me so we chat a little. english,math and etc was all okies. hope tomorrow will be a FINE day!

didnt sleep well yesterday! i dont know why too?! just cant sleep, went to bed at 12 plus but slept at 1 plus then wake up at 2 plus. so irritating. and cause of didnt sleep well, i was so tired today, and tonight dont think can sleep early cause i got quite a number of homework. boohoo.

a little things to share:
what ever you do, follow your heart.

is just a smile

2007-01-06T22:21:00.000+08:00

as everyone know school had reopen. is an bad open. it totally BAD! i just hate school hours! i begin to love cca and prefect more. i don't know why too. but during cca and prefect i feel so like me. can just really be myself and don't worry for any things.

the past three days of school was FINALLY OVER! my form teacher is ms wendy, english is ms yeo(new teacher), math is mdm hamidah( relief teacher for term one after sem 2 will be ms yeong), chinese is mrs chong(prefects teacher-in-charge), account is mdm kee, phy is ms saleha, biology is mr hamzah(a very strict teacher), soical studies is mrs loke/ms chua(new teacher) and pe teacher is mrs chua. that all for my teacher. give me some comments if you all know who are they. anyway, weekend now. but after tomorrow will be monday again! can someone just make monday don't come. i just hate monday!

cca orientation and sec 1 parent night had over! next is audition and SYF stuff. audition will be on wednesday! really hope all the 64 people will come for the audition, pray hard! and pray for my name tag will be done soon! i am waiting very eagerly. cause i don't want to wear the BIG name tag i had now. a lesson learnt, don't even lost yout name tag or what!

overall, this week was okies. btw, my height remind 170 which mean i had a high chance of stop growing (yeah!) and for my weight it will be secret. guitar exam result was out! not really happy about it. hais. anyway, it cant be change. so just forget it. maybe, wont take my grade two. don't feel like.

that all for my week!

last day

2006-12-31T18:14:00.000+08:00

last day of 2006! tomorrow will be 2oo7! oh no! anyway, got to know what chinese class i going next year! i in band 2 with sherrill only and some 2/3 people! and im the last of band 2. so kuku! don't feel like be in the class, got a really really bad feeling!most of the guitar girls got in to band 1! surprising that guitar people were good in chinese! :p

anyway, yesterday performance was good, i guess. but i accidentally drop a stand in the middle of the concert. thanks to the people that help me pick up the stand.(thank you) hmm...to me, yesterday performance doesn't feel like a performance. i don't feel nervous or what. it just like a practice to me, but maybe cause there wasn't much audience so i doesn't feel stress!

christmas had over! and i would like to thanks, sherrill and jocyelyn for the christmas cards, amantha, cherie, mayvelle and someone for the christmas presents and everyone for the christmas greetings. =)

2007 tomorrow. bye bye 2006. had a horrible and wonderful 2006. started it badly and will end badly too. but through out this year, i still enjoyed myself. it filled with joy, happiness, sadness and lots more, it a emotional year! and thanks to SAC Guitar Ensemble that had given me all this but of course my friends and family. this year, was my noise year. cause i was very noise from the 2 half of the year onward. until mr choo cant stand it.*laugh* and got lot of lecture from him too, but without all those lecture i don't think i can grow. cause i wont know my mistake and i wont learn from it. so thank you mr choo! 2006 is not my best year but i still had a lot of fun with all the guitar gals and special thanks to angelyn,amantha,cherie and sherrill. without you gals i wont have gone through so many difficult stages in my life, all your encouragement was the energy for me to move on of my life.
2006, made me cried a lot, first time felt like a cry baby(beside with i still a baby) but without all those crying i wont had look at brighter side of every each new day. had a great 2006 =)

i wonder, what will my life be in 2007?

so stupid!

2006-12-26T20:12:00.000+08:00

christmas is over and new year is coming. but i dont really feel happy about it. cause i dont know what will happen in the future and i dont wish to know too. hais. anyway, went to make my ez-link card just now BUT i cant make cause i didnt bring some stuff plus the photo must be taken in school uniform. so stupid lah! i had already took the photo without school uniform. so i have to take another one!!! so damn pissed off! make one ez-link card also got so many problems. when can the shui-ness get loss from me!!! i dont even feel like going out now! whenever i go out something bad will happen. HAIS!

anyway, performance is coming, new year is coming and school is going to reopen soon. hais. i totally cant wait for my next holiday!!!

totally have no energy to do anything now. cause i cant stand the unlucky stuff keep on happening around me!!! HELP!!!

the day

2006-12-23T16:03:00.000+08:00

just came back from TM with my sis cause i need to accompany her to buy her christmas present. and TM is flooded, so MANY PEOPLE! but i saw a lot of people too! i saw my primary school classmate, sherrill and her family and jingyin and yinghua. anyway, my sis brought my a mango tank top. *thumb up*

headache today, so going to take my nap later, which is quite late. so when i wake up i can have my dinner. what a pig day!

sec 1 orientation for cca is going to be very rushing. two day after school reopen. things haven't done yet. hais. now need to start working on camp too, seen amantha is back. im going to busy again. and school is going to reopen in 1 week plus time! HAIS!!!

why so unlucky?!

2006-12-21T20:05:00.000+08:00

didn't get to post the past few day, cause i was at chalet. overall, the prefects' chalet was okies, not bad. did enjoy myself.

went to school today, after that went to meet cherie at eastpoint with angelyn then went to bugis to shop and lunch. and i got a bad and good news. let my start with the bad one first.
it is:
i lost my handphone!!!!*lighting strike* although it wasn't a very ex. model but i lost handphone with all my money and the guitar picks that i just brought which i love it so much. now i left with nothing, wanted to make ez-link card also cant. really very unlucky. had already lost my wallet and now handphone with all my money and stuff. and tomorrow i cant go back to school to help up with the sec 1 registration, i really want to help up but my parent don't allow, im grounded now!!!*lighting strike* i cant go out, cant go to school during holiday, i cant use the computer when they at home and i might not be able to go for the performance with tpjc.*lighting strike* the feeling totally suck. sorry, if i use the four letter words but the feeling is really suck. plus i cant get any phone until dont know went cause my parent dont trust me to be more careful. i really feel like crying now. although my sim card can be replace but what the point of having a sim card but no phone. so stupid. i cant believe i can be so careless and i really feel like killing that person who stole my phone and every things. i going to curse and swear that person like hell. cause of that stealing im suffering like dont know what now. what the fuck! and i know it was someone that stole it cause, when we first called my phone it was ringing but when the next time we called it was switch off. so is obviously that someone had stole it! now my family is like blaming me for losing my wallet with the damn ez-link and phone and my money. is also not my choice. walao. can all the unlucky luck get lost from me! wtf!

anyway, the good new is cherie brought me HANA KIMI book today for my christmas present. i love it lots although it doesn't have any picture. CHERIE ROCK! she just brought it for me when i said i want. ohmygosh! she just simply rock!and she is really nice, cause she accompany me to go find my phone back although it gone now!
PS:THANK YOU, CHERIE

anyway, i not in a good mood now. a lot of unlucky stuff is happening and i very scared yinghua will angry cause i not going tomorrow. what the hell is all this! i really feel like dying now or what. without all the stuffs i feel so empty now! i just want all my stuffs back!

trapped

2006-12-18T16:37:00.000+08:00

im finally done with some of my stuff. is really finally! done with packing my room, due to my mother forcing. but anyway, need to thanks her if not i don't know when i will start packing my room. threw away all my secondary school stuff beside some books and cca stuff. feel so good now, threw away all the bad. anyway, done with another thing too will tell you all what it is when 27 come. anyway, now a day, every day rain. which is good and bad.

somewhere this week need to eat tang yuan i think. i love to eat tang yuan but i only eat with peanut. i wanna eat tang yuan! anyway, my sis went for her driving theory test today and she passed. congrats to her. she going to start on her practical soon. so luck to her.

msn-ing with jingyin now. so funny can! we talking about fei lun hai, hana kimi, tang yu ze and wu zun. all my love. ohmygosh! we are like so crazy now. *laugh*

finish reading one book, quite meaningful. got quite a number for quote in it. which i can apply in my life. is good to read book! =)

"throw away the bad and move on with the goods"

my decision

2006-12-15T22:29:00.000+08:00

start making guitar video. going to make a nice nice one. and cause of finding photos for the video, i felt like i like one pervert going around people account to get all the photos. but dont get misunderstand by it, i am SUPER NORMAL.

i finally start doing some thing out of the so many things i need to do. but i still got a lot of things need to be done. it would be really good if the school will never going to reopen again but i still want to go for cca.anyway, talking about cca. i feel like having a concert. i miss the time when we at VCH preparing for the concert. i really miss it.

i finally had given up on some thing! cause my heart had freaking dead, i wont hope for any freaking things from today onward. cause i am freaking tired. feel so relived that i finally can give up on it. really need to thanks that person. is going to be the last tears for this freak thing.

i want a day to play for my madnes.

music time

2006-12-15T16:12:00.000+08:00

song recommend, it was another song in HANA KIMI. is really a nice song. listen and understand the music.here the lyric:

专属天使 (tank)
我不会怪你对我的伪装
天使在人间是该藏好翅膀
人们愚蠢鲁莽而你纤细善良
怎能让你为了我被碰伤

小小的手掌厚厚的温暖
你总能平复我不安的夜晚
不敢想的梦想透过你的眼光
我才看见它原来在前方

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
你是我的专属天使
唯我能独占
没有谁能取代你在我心上
拥有一个专属天使
我哪里还需要别的愿望

小小的手掌大大的力量
我一定也会像你一样飞翔
你想去的地方就是我的方向
有我保护笑容尽管灿烂

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
你是我的专属天使
唯我能独占
没有谁能取代你在我心上
拥有一个专属天使
我哪里还需要别的愿望

WO 要不是你出现
我一定还在沉睡
oh 绝望的以为生命只有黑夜

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
你是我的专属天使
唯我能独占
没有谁能取代你在我心上
拥有一个专属天使
我哪里还需要别的愿望

hope you will enjoy it! =)

anyway, last mins decision, i am going for the prefects chalet due to some reason. anyway, so which mean i will miss the extra practice for cca. hope i will enjoy the chalet or some things.

i feel like going out and take some fresh air, and the best place will be the beach. i wanna go to the beach!

bad day

2006-12-14T20:27:00.000+08:00

super bad day! first, wake up in the early morning and i had flu cum running nose for the whole day. second, when i leaving my house to meet people, it started raining HEAVILY. third, my mood wasn't good today. four, my phone bill just come. fifth, my mum was scolding me about my bill. BUT! at least some thing happened to cheer my mood up a bit. thanks to that person!

i hate flu, it just make me feel like dying. i hate it!

suddenly, i feel like touring around the world, get to know the idols i like and do every things with some want i want. i going to save lot of lot of money so i can tour around the world, i guess my first stop will be Taiwan then Brunei and so on. suddenly, i feel like touching snow now, i guess the feeling will be really good. i feel like doing a lot of things now! and my mood is better now cause i don't know why too. hehehe.

i want to explore the world!

a rainy mood, a brightly sun, a miserably heart

2006-12-14T10:19:00.000+08:00

some photo that we took yesterday:

stupid mood still doesnt seen to be good but i guess is better then yesterday. anyway going out later, the people i going out with is some how indirectly or directly relatated to sherrill. i dont feel like going out, but cause of some reason i have no choice. super irritated now, maybe i shall go eat some chocolate to cheer my mood up.

actually, i should be quite busy now. cause i got a number of things need to be done before 2007 come. but most of them, wasnt my choice so i just have to do it. cause it wasnt my choice, i totally dont feel like doing it, maybe one fine day when i in a good mood i shall start doing it but the day surely not now cause my mood now is bloody bad.

in one rainy day, a girl was holding a blue umbrella walking down the streets thinking how should she continue with her life with all the horrible mess.......

emotional day

2006-12-13T21:10:00.000+08:00

just pissed off by some thing. i already quite irritated by my stupid ez-link card problem and so on and here come this problem to irritate me. for the past i had been taking every things in, even if it was good or bad, even if it was my wrong or others, even if it made me cried or laughed but it doesn't mean that i can forever take in things that doesn't concern me. it had came to my limit. is ENOUGH! one more thing and i going to burst out!

what a emo day i had, mood swing here and there.
meeting was a long one. but i don't know why after the meeting, i am more confuse. maybe it was like what amantha said, as after the meeting there are more things need to be done. but i will try my best to figure out every things. anyway, i had made myself a fool in front of everyone again. maybe i had got used to it until that i had no feeling or reaction when someone was laughing about the stupid words i said, instead i laughed with them. cause if i don't laugh with them i seen odd among them and they will just said they just helping me by correcting me, then i had nothing to said.(if any of you don't understand then forget it, cause i don't know how to explain, all i can said it is not a nice feeling, the best it to shut up.) hais. i really hate it but i will just make myself a fool in front of everyone again, in the future, i should just listen to mr choo and keep quiet from now on.
my mood is really bad today. i just feel like crying and screaming every things out. i don't know what happened, today doesn't seen to be a good day to me.

was thinking about this, if we sway/move with the music i think we should we do it from the bottom of our heart and not for the sake of it. cause if all the movement was done just cause of the sake of it, every things look fake. so whatever things we need to do, we must do it from the bottom of your heart, if not it wont be perfect. anyway, as what i had said, it was my thoughts/feelings, so i dont need any comments or feed backs but i just feel like blogging it seen it my blog so i have the right to blog anythings.

i guess i had been tahaning for the last months and this month about some things. i really feel like telling that someone to find out what happening before doing anythings. before i really cry or scream, which i don't want to do. what the H*** is all this! maybe that person still think that he/she is right but i just feel like saying what i feel like. cause if i am wrong that person is in wrong too. now, i just feel like scolding all the bad words. before i turn crazy!

happy

2006-12-12T15:13:00.000+08:00

i feeling very happy now! i don't know why too! suddenly just got this feeling. just watch finish my favorite show 《HANA KIMI》 cant wait for the next episode but it will be a week later. anyway, just did a quite funny thing, so crappy i guess. awhile ago, i sent a message to some people, informing them about the changes for tomorrow meeting and one of them(which is qinghua) reply me this : "Yes. Madam shinling. Yr wish is my command", " she is so crappy. ohmygosh. but is good to have such a funny friend around, cause she can just brighten my day with all her funniness. *laugh*

i still haven't do my review, i don't know how to start?! hope mr choo wont kill me! maybe i shall go think about it later. after blogging, going to turn off my com and start practicing guitar and making chocolate!

will be SUPER free next week, planned to go out but cause of throwing my wallet away with my ez-link in it so is very ma fan for me to go out and i going to stay at home the whole next week, i guess! but I DON'T WANT! ohmy! WHO CAN SAVE ME??? AAARRRGGHHH!!! the most stupidest thing i even done in my 14 year, 10 months and 12 days was to threw my wallet away! OHMYGOSH!!!

3days of going to sleep with a teary face

another one

2006-12-11T21:41:00.000+08:00

i fall in love with fei lun hai! love them like madness. in fei lun hai, wu zun is the one i like the most, he is a model! im so crazy of them. and i found out something. quite high about it but not going to tell any one. gonna watch yu le bai fen bai later, cause got fei lun hai. and going to keep on youtubing to find more video about fei lun hai. madness of the fei lun hai now!!!

played guitar just now. everytime will play until my leg numb. but i just cant stop playing. i can just sit there and play for 3 hours. if you love some things is really difficult for you to stop doing it. it just my love.

one more hour to my show. hopefully i can watch! but i think i can watch it on you tube too!
madness of the madness.

Random

2006-12-11T13:09:00.001+08:00

i'm just bored so decided to blog. was youtubing just now but the logging of the video was too long until i sian so i give up. don't know what should i do now?! actually i got quite a number of things need to be done but i don't know where to start so until now i still haven't done any single thing!
List of things i need to do:

write a review about the guitar competition(no dateline, but ASAP)
pack my room(before 2007 come)
make a video of SACGE(ask angelyn for dateline)
do my holiday homework's(before 2007)
practice guitar and master as many pieces as possible(by 27 Dec)
help librarians with the SACGE mini library (ASAP, i guess)
a reflection of 2006(before 2007)
make my ez-link(before school start)

i think this is what i need to do for the time being. hmm... how should i start? i have no idea?! maybe i shall start with the review but my mind is blank now. hais. so irritating.

i feel like going out to have some fresh air. i feel so trouble now. i don't know why too. this feeling was with me seen the night before the guitar competition. i feel like going for some walk and let my mind take a rest for awhile. maybe just one day, go out and have some fun and don't think about anythings. hais. btw, anyone want to date me for christmas celebration. i feel like attending a party this year. anyway, i will be super free during the christmas week. i hate it can!maybe i shall put myself in coma for that whole week. (what a crazy thought, madness)

seen you had reject, i have nothings to say. i don't know whether the reason is true anot. but there is no need for you to be so jue qing. you making me suffering like hell. i know you wont bother about it but at least can you don't hurt me. let me get use with the times without you and let me prepare myself for studying under the same environment with you for don't know how long. cause it will be really impossible for me to stop think about it when i will be seeing you most of the time for the next 3 years. is really impossible. i hate you.(maybe is a waste for me to cry for you)

hope?!

2006-12-10T20:42:00.000+08:00

came back from the competition. i almost fall asleep cause each piece last more than 10 mins cum i very tired.the winner was under mr choo expectation and i think the winner should win too, cause the way he played was different for others and i paid the most attention when he performing.i was stunned by some of the way they played and i find it quite cool too! there are more than one way of playing a guitar! =D

feeling very tired. seen long i had this feeling. is really very ma fan without a ez-link. want to go out but no ez-link then make me dont feel like going out liao. and i feel super weird without a wallet. which kind soul can buy a wallet for me for my christmas present, i would really love it! i need a wallet!!! anyway, i will be staying at home until wednesday. maybe i shall start packing my room and get ready for 2007!

i don't know whether you will reject anot but i really hope you wont if not i dont know how much tears i going to drop again. maybe, it shall be my last hope. cause wo zhen de hen tong ku. my depression come back again. i had been crying every night and lost my sleep every night again. cause of you i had been suffering, all i wish was, every things back like last time. i really miss it and miss you.

is singing time!

2006-12-10T10:22:00.000+08:00

超喜欢你 (飞轮海)
心跳快得很可怕
呼吸大到有气压
手心冒汗可以浇花(可以浇花)
生活变四格漫画
喜怒哀乐被放大
身不由己没有办法(没有办法)

怎么可以这样
怎么可以这样疯狂
怎么可以这样
怎么可以这样爱超出了想像

就算世界与我为敌
我超喜欢你
超喜欢你不能分离
我只相信这个真理
百无禁忌万夫莫敌
我超喜欢你
我慢慢不能清醒
终于不想清醒
根本不用清醒这个恶作剧

想要对你说的话
身体由已替我表达
一旦爱了不能作假(不能作假)
一度觉得很头大
怀疑细胞有偏差
可是爱了没有办法(没有办法)

就是可以这样
就是可以这样疯狂
就是可以这样
就是可以这样爱超出了想像

就算世界与我为敌
我超喜欢你
超喜欢你不能分离
我只相信这个真理
百无禁忌万夫莫敌
我超喜欢你
我慢慢不能清醒
终于不想清醒
根本不用清醒这个恶作剧

我超喜欢你
是我放在心里好久的秘密
我不敢告诉你
甚至没有勇气说服我自己
我问一问上帝
要怎么突破我们之间的距离
站在原地是友谊
往前一步又怕吓到你
我号称黄金右脚横冲直撞
天下无敌自由来去
怎么踏进这个禁区
马上败在你手里

就算世界与我为敌
我超喜欢你 (超喜欢你)
超喜欢你不能分离
我只相信这个真理
百无禁忌万夫莫敌
我超喜欢你
我慢慢不能清醒
终于不想清醒
根本不用清醒这个恶作剧
就算世界与我为敌
我超喜欢你
超喜欢你不能分离
我只相信这个真理
百无禁忌万夫莫敌
我超喜欢你
我慢慢不能清醒
终于不想清醒
根本不用清醒这个恶作剧

this is one of the song of the show i saying yesterday. love this song lot!
ps:to any one who cant read the words, you need to put your cursor at the tagboard there then right click and select encoding then select unicode(UTF-8) and you can see the lyric. =D

drop tears yesterday night again after so long. was listening to song and brought out some memory. i guess i still cant get over it. i still don't believe all this is true. im really regret!

fall in love again?

2006-12-09T20:30:00.000+08:00

i did a very STUPID thing that i feel like scolding myself. clear your eyes properly and read carefully, don't miss any single letter! the stupid me, went to throw away my OWN WALLET yesterday! if i threw it to my house dustbin i wont have such a big reaction, BUT i went to THROW in to the HDB BIG BIG DUSTBIN which i can NEVER GET BACK!!! cause the cleaner will come and clean the dustbin every early morning. my ez-link, money and GUITAR PICKS is inside okies!!! so hate myself now, cant believe i can do such a stupid thing. and i didn't even know until just now. OHMYGOSH! cause of losing one wallet, i lost so many things. i prefer losing my key(touchwood) then my wallet. i want my PICKS back! *cry*

was watching HANA KIMI on youtube the past few days but only got 3 episodes. but the show was nice. i was reading the comic last time and here come the show. i love the song too.
the show was about this girl named Rui Xi(Ella) having fallen "head over heels" for a boy named Zuo Yi Quan (Wu Zun) after seeing his high jump performance on television so she decides to find out all about him and go to the same school as him but the problem is it was an ALL BOYS SCHOOL! After much persuasion of her family and gaining the help of her good friend, Rui Xi then disguises herself as a boy and goes to the high school that Quan attends which was in JAPAN. Coincidentally, she is the same class and was also Quan's roommate! On her first day of school, she was late and bumped into someone on the way to class. In a hurry, she rushed off without apologizing. Much to her dismay, that guy was Quan. She wanted to be friends with Quan and was very straightforward about it but she get rejected (he thought she was gay, as she too straightforward). Liking that Rui Xi is rather straightforward, Jin Xiu Yi (Jiro Wang), the school soccer star, wanna be friends with Rui Xi.
During a P.E. lesson, everyone was shocked to discover that Rui Xi was a very fast runner, and she even break the school's record held by Xiu Yi. A jealous Xiu Yi challenges her to a soccer match. During the match, she faints (due to some reasons). Quan came to rescue her (and finds out that she is REALLY A GIRL but he keeps it to himself) and he brought her to the school's doctor, Mei Tian, who is a gay. which, finds out about Rui Xi's identity but promises to keep it a secret and he soon became her counselor. Xiu Yi soon falls in love with Rui Xi, but doesn't know that Rui Xi is a girl and believes that he, himself, is a gay.
Quan and Rui Xi soon become friends and begin to develop a very close friendship. Many mishaps and challenges happening and await for Rui Xi.....
this is somehow what the show was about i got it at one website and i edited and deleted a bit too. i know the show might be a bit gross cause got gays but it still a nice and funny show. is worth watching. im waiting for the CD to be out! and cause of this show, i begin to fall in love with fei lun hai, wu zun and keep on listen to tank's songs. i just love it! =D

watching guitar competition with angelyn, mr choo and amantha tomorrow. i guess it will be another open eyes for me. cant wait for it!

suddenly, i got this weird feeling in me. heard a lot of things this few days, and is all about relationship and i don't know why i seen to be very good in it. maybe i learn all this from TV?! it make me afraid to believe in a relationship, anyway im still young now. but relationship to me seen bad, although there were times fill with happiness and sweet stuff. but all the hurt that you experience in a relationship seen to be don't know how many time more than all the suffer and pain you had. so is relationship a harm or good?!

choir and cca

2006-12-08T11:42:00.000+08:00

in one sudden, i miss choir. the feeling of singing was very nice, and the best was to sing with a big group of people, so regretted that i quit choir when i in primary school. but anyway what happened is happen cant change any more.

cca break is killing me. i just rot at home every days.DATE me!if not i will really die! hmm...when cca resume again, i guess there will be a lot of works. and really hope i can change, so that mr choo wont lecture me more. when he called my name and said want to talk to me, i can sense some things bad and every times im right. then i will keep on recalled what did i do wrongly again. then feel like scolding myself of making all those mistakes when i know that i not suppose to do it. so idiot! some things i just didn't think carefully that why i will did some things wrong, then regret also no use. so really hope can make some changes when cca resume. another thing was, i try not to shout or make a lot of noise during cca from the 27th practice onward. although, i told to myself a lot of time but this time round i post it cause i really want to be change this problem.
when cca resume i really hope there will be improve. example, attendance, discipline etc. i wont wish that guitar will be 100% like band or what but at least know the basic of getting things done without the senior reminding all the times. know when the time to make noise, to keep quiet etc. i know some times i also made all this mistakes but when cca resume i really hope me and the ensemble can throw away all this bad habits. if as a ensemble our behaviour have improve and for us getting a gold for SYF wont be as difficult as what we thought but we also must practice our pieces.
anyway, in this 1 year there were already quite a big improvement. there are more people practice the pieces by themselves, big improvement for the weaker player(but you gals are no longer the weaker player). in term of speaking up more, i can see more from the seniors and some of the sec 1. you gals really did a good jobs, as what mr choo said, if we speak up more mean our brain is thinking(something like that). so well done! but there are still space for improvement. another thing was, good that there are people move/sway with the music. im really glad about it. anyway, guitar girls keep up the good works! =D

anyone got any activities need people help can call me! like help up for some thing or what. if not i will just dead bored at home so is better i help then rotting at home. anyway, going library later. going to borrow books that i haven't read it for more then 6 months. =D

sing a lot with the music

i miss CCA!

2006-12-07T11:02:00.000+08:00

yesterday was the last practice.i cant imagine what will happen for my last practice, i think i will cry or something. i just miss cca so much. i just want to be with cca every moment, but in life there always time of separation.

cca yesterday was really sweet.we did SWAY. and the feeling was really good, beside moving as a ensemble, you can feel the music too. had a long lunch yesterday, thanks to kind-hearted mr choo for giving us such a long lunch break. so we head to long john for lunch but before that we played "you still the one" and i suppose to sing. i did sing but only ants can hear. cause i feel so weird to sing in front of people. lunch was crappy. i was making a fool out of myself. (somehow the same feeling as amantha) actually i don't like too. but i just did it without me knowing. so stupid! anyway i also don't know how to explain.

had dinner at sakae with mr choo, amantha, zee, angelyn, cherie and sherrill. then went to SCH with mr choo, amantha and zee. on the way, talked about some guitar stuff. then i felt a little cold at mr choo car, when i step in SCH i felt really cold again. thanks to angelyn and mr choo to lend me their jacket.when every one was here, then we head to the concert hall. the concert was nice. got this guy who played the electric guitar scared me. all i can said is he played like a lion.hmm...for the concert the movement that the ensemble made was very exaggerated, as what amantha said in her blog it seen like they did it for the sake of the performances. to me they didn't really move as in they can feel the music and understand it. but overall the concert was really nice, an open eyes for me! =D

cca break started, I'm so bored. but i brought guitar home to practice. so as least wont really rot at home.hopefully, by the practice on 27th i still can play properly as before or have improvement.guitar is my madness now.

this cca break was really a time for me to think back about my cca. thoughts fill all my heart, lot of feelings bursting in my heart. last time when i first join guitar i didn't expect myself to become a leader, to know TPJC people, to contribute somethings to cca, to be so committed to cca, to be so talkative, to be so playful and noisy. as i heard from my guitar teacher that last time i was quiet but now i very noisy. that was true. it just a stage of growing, i guess. being a part of this cca, let me thought, learn, understand and grow a lot. being a part of a student of my guitar teacher was a stage that i need to accept any negative points, any lecturing, any goods or bads. being a part of a leader of my cca, was really difficult for me until now. i can said i'm not even 60% a good leader yet. i didn't expect it to so tough until i can truly feel that being a leader was a huge responsible that you need to have. beside having all the leadership qualities, i also need to set a good example for my members to see, follow instruction, no talking back or playing a fool. i know i had made all this mistake a lot of times, i really trying my best to change all this. trying to know when is the right time to play, the right time to be serious. just that some times i will forget and here come my lecture. i think my guitar teacher lecture me more then my school teachers. but i guess, i show more of myself during cca time then school hours time. overall, cca brought me through one stage to another stage, one point to another point, one learning lesson to another learning lesson.

im back!

2006-12-05T20:44:00.000+08:00

back from Malaysia. ate alot of stuff and i feel so fat now. went to shop for a while but didn't get to buy anythings. BOOOOO!!! all we brought was foods and i was stunned about the service of one shop, it was DAMN good until i was stunned. anyway when to cca today after missing the yesterday one, and guess what it turn out quite badly cause we didn't play properly for the morning ensemble and mr choo was unhappy and it scared us. anyway, it just spoil my day. feel so down for cca and the stupid no mood feeling is bad again. although the after lunch ensemble was better but it still didn't brighten me, anyway i don't feel talking about it anymore. hmm... had committee meeting after cca, it was quite funny lar. but it still didn't brighten me. discuss some stuff but ended up everyone just went home without ending the meeting properly cause the meeting was long so everyone need to go, i guess.

anyway, cca tomorrow and it the last practice before cca break start. hopefully it will be a nice and happy last practice before the next time we come back again. I'm dying to miss cca. so it must end with a sweet practice, hopefully.hmm... niibori guitar concert tomorrow.hopefully i wont fall a sleep in between cause i will feel tired one but i think i wont cause i going to call amantha to talk to me if i sit beside her. anyway, i seen to cant wait for the concert.

cca break start, i going to pick up my books and study it. haven't really touch it for more than a month, so it time for me to do some studys before i die next year. hmm... anyway, i cant wait for my mum to give me money to shop for my new year clothes i already had in mind of what to buy. hehehe.

anyway, i was surprised that i dropped my tears today. maybe i cant stand anymore that why, cause i have been tahan-ing for quite a few weeks, so this time round i just let go every things is the best. actually i don't know what wrong me lar! suddenly, made people angry. hais. i trying already so please don't force me before i really burst out again or really turn to madness. i need some times. suddenly i feel so sian and tired.whatever i do it doesn't seen to be good but it will make people angry. hais.

fall in love with music

2006-12-02T11:18:00.000+08:00

hopefully, there will be a combined camp with TPJC @ TPJC during march. and i said hopefully cause if the BOTH school's teachers or what dont agree then SAC and TPJC cant have a camp together. ohmygosh. please dont make it happen,God. im so excited for the camp, combining camp with TPJC might be the next lesson learn in music, leadership stuff and maybe more. i really cant wait for it. MARCH, i cant wait for you to come!

wont be in singapore for the next two days. I DONT WANT. cause it mean i will miss the cca on monday. ohmygosh. i HATE to miss cca, and why must be now, when my committed feeling toward cca was back. hmm...but i cant change the fact so i have to accept it. BOOOOO!

just read angelyn's blog, and she don't really like cca, yesterday. so i decided to write some things more about cca yesterday. actually i had totally different feeling as angelyn for cca yesterday. she doesn't really like the way that we sat when playing ensemble cause everyone wasn't really seating with their own section. actually the way we sit for ensemble was important too but i didn't really bother about it. cause i guess the feeling of finally finished learning one pieces that i hope i can finish learning it ASAP was done yesterday and learning some new, happy, lovely and nice pieces had fill all my heart. and i guess cause of this i LOVE CCA again. music is really some things i really cant stop loving it. i just cant help falling in love with it forever. music is my life. =D

loving of cca making me doesn't want to miss any time with it. =D

learnt

2006-12-01T21:39:00.000+08:00

im late for cca today! is some how i was too tired until i forget and i overslept. cause i thought today was a weekend. so i rushed to school by cab but i still late. so my punishment was to pack room after cca, but there wasnt really much things for me to pack. hehehe. cca, started of with new solo pieces. it was really nice, cause can really learn alot of nice pieces too. learnt black keys and greensleeves, and next target is to learn cant help falling in love. i heard that it is difficult but hope that i can learnt it well and played it well.then had lunch with mr choo, angelyn, cherie and sherrill, i was quite moody at that moment, i guess. then ensemble, sectional. and i can played yesterday as in the whole pieces! i love it man! overall, cca for today was wonderful, i love it and i guess the committed i had toward cca was back again. it was really good! =D

after cca, went to parkway with mr choo and amantha came to meet us to collect the niibori guitar concert tickets. cause we waited for quite long and we was hungry so we had our dinner at BK! hahaha. and me and amantha had couples meal. hahaha. and we went to hide mr choo's kitkat, at first we just planned to give him on monday but in the end cause he was a POLICE MAN and he found out. hahaha. cause we keep on laughing about a lot of stuffs until i cant stop and he went to RECORD how long i laughed! -_-" the record was 1 MINS 40 SEC then later was amantha turn and guess what the record was 2 MINS and 10 SEC. it break my record!hahaha. then i said mr choo was the SKINNER man i even seen and mr choo started to laugh and we wanted to record but in the end we was too slow, when we wanted to record he already stop laughing. hahaha. before we had our dinner we went to one guitar shop. it was really nice. and when we went back to for the second times mr choo scared the ladyboss. hahaha. and me, amantha and the ladyboss started laughing when mr choo look blur and was asking what happened. then we was talking about him when he was in the toilet.hahaha. and when mr choo was looking at the music books, thinking of the music, trying to conduct(i guess). he totally CONCENTRATING. cause when we talking to him, he totally IGNORE us. but it was good to know such person to be so engross to music. =D

today was really fun! laughed a lot and i guessed i had understand mr choo more too. and i really cant get over the word madness too! ohmygosh! hahaha.

i feel like having guitar exam again!? madness!!!

is finally over!

2006-11-29T16:19:00.000+08:00

im so stress-free now! exam was finally over! so relieve! finally can laugh play blah blah blah!actually still can play or what lar! but now can play blah blah blah without worrying anythings! i cried before i go for the exam. i dont know why too. maybe cause i not feeling well. i dont want to drop tears one but they all said the word cry then my stupid tears drop. useless tears man. hahaha.

reached school around 8 today, one second later than angelyn. -_-" then mr choo was there already. then me and angelyn crapped and chatted with him for awhile then cherie, ms chua and sherrill came liao.so went to prepare the examination room. wait wait wait. pain pain pain. then my turn!!! im so nervous and scared lar. trying to think positively before i go in to play, so then i went in!i made some mistakes but also did okies for some pieces. afterall, is finally over!

brought a nail polish. hahaha. is transparent with shiny thingy and stars. i find it really nice. and it on my finger nails and leg nails liao.hahaha. thanks to sindy for helping me to spot a nice nails polish.today got madness of TSK TSK and echo too. me, angelyn, cherie, sherrill and sindy was playing with all this. hahaha. mr choo was very funny today. which is good! but he love to pick on me! which irritate me alot. but okies lar. the most i keep quiet then he cant irritate me. hahaha. is really good to have a funny and nice teacher. hahaha.

outing with the BHBs tomorrow, only like half of the BHBs will turn up lor! so sad lar! before the outing need to go TPJC first then need to rush back to simei to meet people. booooo. i feel like going bowling in one sudden!

//for one problem there is alot of solution just that u want to try it anot?!//

i was hoping for the last hope to happen until to the last mins of the start of the exam but in the end it was all disappointment,although every times i will give up but in my heart, it still wish for a little hope but in the end all i get was disappointment.(hope or give up?)

scared my ass off!!!

2006-11-28T19:30:00.000+08:00

BOO!!!
im the first to reach today! reached at 7 plus! and i reached school then i realise i forget to bring $24 for the niibori guitar concert!then i almost scared until wanted to cry, cause i scared mr choo will scold me. hehehe. thanks god i can hand in the money tomorrow.
when the rest reached, wanted to go take guitar then mr choo called angelyn to take the trolley then angelyn called me and i called sindy. the shuay me get to pull the well fixed trolley and sindy was laughing at it. retarded her. i dont find it funny but the way she laugh will make me laugh so we laugh lor! hahaha. did arual training today. got a feeling i will fail. cause i really not good in it!!!then played my bass. and i had get use to the pain until i dont feel anythings at all and i had blister on my thumb, it look UGLY! Eeeeeyyyeeerrrr!!!!ms chua came to listen and speak to us today, at first i was worried. it quite a scary one after that she talked to us about SYF and mr choo was quite lame at that time. time to think!chen yi came to perform for us. i love the last song he played! and i guess it touched mr choo heart. im scared of guys tears! i almost wanted to cry, cause the camp images appeared in my mind! this two week was my EMO-week, the camp really touched my heart.

exam tomorrow, going to practice later!-_-" i just wake up from my little nap cause i was tired and not feeling well and have cramp the whole day. so i was really exhausted. very worry for tomorrow! i was hoping i will have some wish from ~~them~~ but i think now is impossible. anyway, ALL THE BEST AND GOOD LUCK TO THE GIRLS TAKING EXAM TOMORROW!
wish me luck too! hahaha.

i dont want tomorrow!

MADNESS and HIGHNESS

2006-11-27T21:41:00.000+08:00

im so crazy and high now!
the madness and highness continuous for 3 nights. cause of the BHB outing. im so busy cause of it, finally it somehow done. now was cca stuff, need to spend all my energy and times for guitar first. then when cca break come, i hope by then i can find a job. but it seen so difficult. but, no excuse, i shouldn't give up until the last mins.

some things wrong with my internet in the afternoon. i cant connect to the internet. and it freak me out! im so piss off until i want to scold people. then my sis told me to call the singtel costumer service. in the end i just need to switch the line wire then can connect and thanks to my sis for helping me but she was angry over that person service cause it was really bad. hahaha. so while the internet was down, i decide to take my afternoon nap as yesterday night, i slept at 1 plus at wake up at 7 plus! i totally cant sleep. i dont know why too?! and it same as tonight, i keep on yawning but i dont feel like sleeping at all, so i need to fault myself to sleep! booooo!

oh! angelyn is MAD AND HIGH with me! she going to do somethings tomorrow for me! so funny can! so sad i cant post about it here. but im so high about it too. MADNESS, even cold water also cant cool me down. hahaha.

i was thinking about my goals for next year, so i shld post about it!
MY 2007 GOALS:
1)Be a better Leader!***
2)Be a cheerful person and spread to everyone around me! ***
3)No Cs grade for my mid & end of year examination ***
4)Improvement of playing guitar **
5)Can have the chance to attend Leadership course/camp/training **
6)Attend at least 5 concerts(band,guitar,dance,drama,musical) **
7)Learn how to play drum by the end of the year!
8)Learn somethings more about DJ stuff! **
okies, this is so far i can think of. maybe i will update at my blog. if i still can think of anymore!
the GOALS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE!

2 MORE DAYS TO GUITAR GRADE 1 EXAMINATION!!!
3 MORE DAYS TO BHB OUTING!!!

outing for the BHBs!

2006-11-26T12:36:00.000+08:00

im getting high and excited.there will be a outing next week for the BHBs. cant wait for it!!! just wish that tomorrow will be the day man! get to see all the BHBs and play and bond as a BHB too!!! the BHB ROCK ON!!!

exam is less then 5 days time!quite worry but i will still give my best. so even i fail, at least i wont regret that i didnt give my best. quite stress for me. now holiday, still got exam. really hope on that day i wont screw up and my finger and mind will listen to me!!! i need u people to pass me all your luck!!! i wanna pass my exam!!!

next week quite of pack, cca for two day, one day outing, two day oversea and maybe one day of finding of jobs. but i hope that next week will be my best week of my 2006 life man. i just cant wait for the BHB outing. i turning mad!!! the madness and highness of BHB!!!

was talking on the phone with janaine just now. it was madness and highness again. we talk alot! and first time i talk so much with janaine, i felt that the gaps that me and janaine had was gone. we going to continue later. i waiting for her call. JANAINE faster call me!!! hahaha. janaine rock man!!! i getting high again. i need COLD WATER!!! hahaha.

i cant get over with the prefects camp, thanks that i found out two facilitators email. so i still can ask help from them!!! still thinking about the camp. and i totally cant wait for the outing with BHB. it gonna be fun!!! the camp ROCK ON!!!!

3 MORE DAYS TO GUITAR GRADE ONE EXAMIATION!!!

CAMPS!!!

2006-11-25T18:23:00.000+08:00

this week was my camps week.
first i got prefects' camp, then guitar camp.
so let me start from prefects' camp.

prefects' camp was more than words that i can express. cause it was really FABULOUS!!! this was the best camp i even had. and it is more than a camp! it taught me a lot of life values, the qualities of a leader should have and playing a very important in a group as a leader or a group member. the camp perhaps taught me more than all this, the camp was really wonderful!
first day: get in to a group that i dont familiar with so i just thought that the camp will only be two day so is okies, all i have to is to bear with it. slowly, i got to understand everyone of them. slowly, we bonded together. slowly, we cant bear to end this camp, cant bear to leave everyone. at first one of the facilitator said that our group is more on the relationship than the task, but i dont agree with him at that moment. but when the camp came to the second day, i guess he was right. but at least we DID give our best. so there wasnt any regrets. we played tug-o-war too. it was my first time. it was tiring but i love it. why playing, i love the feeling that with your team-mates pulling the same rope together while the rest of the team-mates cheering from you. even if we loss is still doesnt matters.
at night, after light off. me, ethel, clarissa, janaine and gen still didnt sleep instead we chatted alot. but guess what, im the first to fall a sleep. i dont why too. cause normally i can stay up until very late. but it fun to chat at night.
second day: it was a challenging day. all the activities become very difficult, but everyone didnt give up. cause we want to win. first few games need to do alot of push up and we did alot, is countless. but i know is 3 digits. so i was aching all around my body when i came back from camp.
when it cames to the last games, it was a silent web game and it last of 2hours. and i cried during the game. cause i accidentally made a mistake and we must restart the game. i felt that it was my fault, as if i didnt make that mistake my group would probably win. and see all the disappointment and tiring faces it made me more feel like crying, so i busted out. but i was touched by all my team-mates, cause none of them blame me but consoled me and we had a team hug. it really touched my heart.
when debriefing, my group cried. and whole group cried. it was really touching. even our facilitator cried too. so we gave him a group hug. we really love the group lot and the camp lot too.
the BUEI HIAO BAI.
we persevered till the very end. even there was still some disappointment. but at least we had gave all our best. we had showed what a team is. we from a unfamiliar group become a group that we love each and everyone very much!
wanna thanks you gals for giving me such a wonderful 2days:
jingyin
janaine
valerie
ethel
peiyi
janna
gen
mathea
shiong wei
maria
veronica
specially thanks to my facilitator JIMMY:
you really taught me alot in this camp. and it was my first time being so open to so many people. and thanks for all the little notes and encouragement i will surely keep in nicely and always remember it in my heart. you're a really GREAT FACILITATOR. thanks alot! :D

gutiar camp!
to me it wasnt really a camp. cause it doesnt have overnight and it just seen like normal practise just that it was longer. but overall the camp was fine. just that need to work alot more in my section. Carmen was back again. this time round i play the bass, the score was easy just that need more practice. camp was the time for me practice my pieces and understand each and everyone better.

i felt that every leader should know he/her mistakes. and should have the courage to admit and not finding excuse to escape from the punishment or what. cause if a simple rule and a leader cant follow then why would the rest of the people follow, they might probably find the same excuse just to escape from the punishment too. so leader should set a good example, maybe it seem easy to say but difficult to do. so i will give my best.

Prefects' Camp Photo:

group photo

the BHB

the REAL BHB

play,laugh,joke

2006-11-16T15:54:00.000+08:00

went back to school for extra practise just now.

we mange to finish everythings for gavotte with some little mistake. so practise make perfect! but i still will give them a GOOD JOB!

after that, whole group of people cab to TM with 2 cabs and had our lunch at KFC! while eating, olivia started saying her joke and petrina will ask a lot of lame/stupid question. -_-'' made me while eating also laugh and i took damn long to finish my foods, cause most of the times im laughing. after eating went to CS to take neoprints, we took damn long to decorate the neoprints in the end petrina pressed somethings wrongly so only have 4 pictures. but never mind. after that we went to the 2 floor big and nice toilet to take some more pictures, using angelyn's cam. we did a lot of retarded things, so funny plus embarrassing.(i will post the picture when angelyn send me.) but after all was fun, funny and laughed all the way.

had a nice day with olivia, petrina, angelyn, beverly, bridget. =D

tomorrow, performance with SACPS. im quite of worry but not for myself. im worry that we didnt play together *touchwood* or speed up or what. so hope everyone will try their best to look up most of the times!!! pray for tomorrow.

i realise i can really spend my day laughing through out without thinking about my problems. just live so carefree. i think i had really give up of having any hopes on it so i decided to forget everythings. i dont wan to suffer anymore.

PHOTOS!!!

group photos!

practise really HARD!!!

the SENIORS! lol

me and olivia walking

beverly & angelyn

beverly & me

lift reflection

NEOPRINTS!!!

carefree life

my first time.

2006-11-15T20:55:00.000+08:00

went out with hiong today. love the time with her man. in front of her, i can take down my mask and be the really me.i can just let my feeling out easily.

went to PS to drink first, after finish up, my face was red.but it gone off after awhile.then we just walk around PS, trying to find shirt and my TANK. in the end, i brought the Adidas deodorant and she brought teenage magazine. then i went to test the white colour nail polish, is still on my nail now, but it doesn't look nice cause i didn't paint it properly.lol.so we walk walk walk, and we can walk into a shop for 4 times and never buy anythings.hahaha.we just dont know what to get.we also went to macs to grab somethings and while eating i teach her some basic of guitar. she gonna be my student.hahaha.and cause the last time we came to PS was very very long time ago so when this time round we come, we almost don't know how to go..hahaha.

i love today and of course her.

things always doesn't get it done in a simple. i hate my holidays. it make my whole life upside down.

suffering from depression

14 days to GUITAR GRADE 1 EXAMINATION

is stressful.

2006-11-14T20:22:00.000+08:00

today is a bad days, im holding my tears.

cca, didnt get to play during ensemble cause i wan practising my exam pieces, i dont feel like writing more about it. i heard that bass wasnt very good, so extra practise for bass is CONFIRM. thursday going back to school.

i dont feel like commenting about cca, cause i missed alot of things today.

suddenly, i feel so stressful, it make me out of breath. all the stuff is going to make me die. my head is very pain now! haiz.

things was out of my ways today. everythings is wrong. i very frustrated. i dont feel like using my brain cells anymore, but if not the problems will not be solve. can someone just kill me or what. life is getting more and more difficult. i thought this holidays suppose to for me to relax but it end up making my life so bloody complicated.

dont have any high expectation from me anymore, i really want to try to meet the expectation.but the more i try, the more i cant reach. even im so disappointed with myself so as well as any of you. maybe im not a good leader anymore. im reconsidering, am i still a good leader, maybe once im, but now maybe im not?!

RECONSIDERING.

in the end i still dont have the courage

the feeling is weird

2006-11-13T19:11:00.000+08:00

got this weird feeling, that i dont know how to describe.

i cut my hair. nothing special. at first i dont really like it, but now i think its okies. and i cant tie it, purposely one. cause im lazy. laziness is bad. hahaha.

some things wrong with my house water. cause the amounts of water come out very little even though we on/turn it until very big. so weird, and cause of this i took very long to bath. so irritating, hope my father or so can fix it ASAP.

finally, monday is going to over. i hate monday. cause is the being of the week. tomorrow got cca, and after that got rehearsal with SACPS again. using my Contra Bass guitar tomorrow. so my hand will be pain. and need to tune too. cause is new strings.

16 days to GUITAR GRADE 1 EXAMINATION

angry and grateful

2006-11-12T22:24:00.000+08:00

wanna thanks, this person.*but i wont mention her name here

she show me what is true friend and what is friends for. after all, she will still comfort me and give me courage. i really appreciate it. thanks her lots!!! she surprised me alot.

in my life, things always wont happened as what i want. i want it to go east, it will go west. *example so it will freak me out. is like why every times like one, what i want wont happen but it will happened as what i dont want, so disappointing and will always discourage me. but i still dont give up, cause i dont believe. so i wanna keep on trying. but after a long time it still doesnt have much changes i will sian. then i will start thinking negatively. but thanks that i still have some friends out there to encourage me. that why, until now i still working on it.

hope one day, some things will happen as what i want.

once is enough, twice i will die

worry and scare

2006-11-11T12:57:00.000+08:00

hmm...

OH MY GOSH!!!

18 MORE DAYS TO MY GUITAR EXMINATION!!!

can some fairy just turn me to be like half of mr choo or what.

then i can at least pass my exam.

although angelyn is going to help me.

but surely, the percentage for me to screw up on that day is HIGH until 3000%.

i will surely doing somethings wrong, CONFIRM PLUS GUARANTEE CHOP one.

OH MY GOSH!!!

the moment i think about, i dont even feel like going for the exam.

i think i going to make myself seriously sick on that day, until i cant get off my bed.

SAVE ME!!! HELP ME!!!

MIRACLE HAPPEN, PLEASE!!!

i just recall something.

it was, the night before my first day of primary school life.

i dont know why i didnt sleep at all. maybe i'm to excited or somethings. i spent the whole night rolling here and there on my bed until the sun going the come out then i fall asleep. but too bad, i only can sleep for l hours plus cause i need to prepare for my school. and i was extremely tired. what happened after that i cant really remember. but i only know that day, i was very tired.

i think for the night before the exam, i also cant sleep. cause i will be super duper worry and nervous. totally have no confident with myself at all. haiz!

i thought today was a sunday. cause i hoping that this weekend can faster over, as im not allowed to go out until monday. BOO!!! so tuesday faster come, as im going to school then the next day going to find job with my primary school friend.

weekend, SHOO, SHOO!!!

hahaha. :D

will miracle really happen?

will you really disppoint me?

weird

2006-11-10T20:07:00.000+08:00

hmm...

let me start off with cca.

combine rehearsal with SACPS. got some miscommunication so end up using the PFA room instead of the hall.

overall was okies.but when the whole thing going to end. i dont know why, i suddenly feel so tired. feel so dead lar.

before combine rehearsal with SACPS, we have sectional.

my sectional was like so dull. everyone no mood or tired or sleepy blah blah blah. even i also sian when i saw them like that, so i played half way then dont want to play. really lor. saw them like that, really have no mood to play one.

cutting my hair on monday, AGAIN. cause i quite lazy to tie. hope this time round, will be nice too. after one year of tying of hair, fianlly i dont need to tie my hair. but proberly only my cca-mate can see how it look like. as when the time school reopen, my hair will be long again, so need to tie again. hehehe. :D

why must we live under other people eyes? the purpose for us to live wasnt for other people but for ourselves. so we shouldnt really bother about other people words or actions.if we felt that we had tried our best, why must we care about other people? if we listen to them then we dont have any originality.

and to me, we shouldnt compare with anyone. cause the biggest enemy for you to fight with is yourselves not other people. so i dont think there a need for you to go compare yourselves with other people.

the biggest enemy in this world is yourselves not other people.

suddenly, i feel that something is missing in my life

the smile

2006-11-09T18:19:00.000+08:00

(edit)

i was watching a show.

and i know something from the show, it is :

11 rose stand for forever will only love you

*which mean forever will only love the person you love.

i think the meaning is beautiful.

and from the show,

i had learnt somethings too.

actually, in this world beside love there are still other things that is important.

family actually is a encouragement.

whenever you are sad or happy, they will always be there and give you energy to fight with the problems or always support you.

and family, is somethings that you cant use words to describe it.

cause the relationship you have with your family is priceless.

so treasure them.

beside, family. there still friends/friendship.

maybe, there are time that, you have some misunderstand with your friends.

but if you speak up, talk to each other nicely, i believe the misunderstanding can be solve.

so even enemy also can be friend.

sometime learn to speak up, might help to solve the problems.

the only problem is, if you dont open your heart, things will be impossible so in another way, if you open your heart, nothings is impossible.

and if ypu break up the word : impossible

it will be : i'm possible

so think about it.

i was quite of slacking at home.

beside going school for cca and prefect stuff and finding job.

the rest of my holiday i really dont feel like going out,

if only got ~~them~~ then...

feeling so lazy.

STUPID LAR!!!!!!!!!

(/edit)

childhood

2006-11-08T21:43:00.000+08:00

went for meeting today.

i regret going.

i dont know why.

i feel that i not suppose to be there.

is like i went to a place that i not belong to.

same for the prefect camp.

haiz.

suddenly i got all the negative feelings.

walked pass a group of kindergarten kids when i was on the way home.

they was holding hand and walking around.

it so nice.

i miss my childhood.

they are like so innocent and naive.

so carefree.

nothings to worry about,

nothing to sad about.

so jealous of them.

21 days to GUITAR GRADE 1 EXAMINATION

looking forward.

2006-11-07T21:56:00.000+08:00

went out with cherie and sindy.

first stop: TM.

look for job and got rejected too.

but i think is okies.

one of the shop say will give me a call,

if they are hiring me.

i really hope i will received their call.

cause i really want to work in that shop.

trying white sand soon,

maybe this week or next week.

i was thinking what should i do in the future.

i wanna do somethings related to music.

but not a music teacher.

maybe be a DJ, or singer or form my own band.

be a DJ was a dream seen i small.

i dont know why but i seen to love it.

singer, maybe you people will laugh.

but who cares, i live for myself not for you people.

so maybe singing will be good.

for band, i wanna play the drum.

really love drum lot.

oh! i trying to compose my own song too.

hope i success.

hehehe.

22 days to GUITAR GRADE 1 EXAMINATION.

it just matter of heart not time

2006-11-06T19:07:00.000+08:00

is really good to think about the past.

although i might cry cause of it as i had lost that person.

but the memories was always sweet and nice.

and it will always keep in somewhere of your heart.

reflecting about the past, in order of me to learn from it.

i realise somethings.

for a couple to love each other forever is really not very difficult.

today,

saw how loving was my parent was really sweet.

they will cook together or cook for each other.

although, they will always quarrel but at the end of the day,

they still love each other.

they wont say all kind of loving words but they show their love through action.

so, in order to live with someone until you die,

is not really difficult.

it just matter of heart.

23 days to GUITAR GRADE 1 EXAMINATION

memory

2006-11-05T20:57:00.000+08:00

slacking at home today.

just finished reading one of my junior's blog.

when i read,

i start laughing.

cause she wrote somethings damn funny,

it just cant make me stop laughing.

hahaha.

was think the past and listening to music in the afternoon.

i almost cry.

cause of somethings.

i really want the past back.

i really want

24 days to GUITAR GRADE 1 EXAMINATION

somethings is not right!!!

2006-11-04T16:42:00.000+08:00

eating lollipop now, that tiffany gave me

reharsal with SACPS.

quite okies when playing with them.

others stuffs dont feel like commenting much.

but my fingers was pain today.

maybe cause of playing, yesterday night.

after reharsal went to tiffany's house with cherie.

we watch TV, eat, play guitar, play with her dogs and TALKS.

and i almost fall a sleep.

im just tired.

almost didnt want to go school today.

so when on the way home,

i was climbing steps with cherie,

and guess what???

my shoe drop out. *maybe u think not funny but if u saw wat happened u will laugh

cherie and one strange was laughing. *even i also laugh

when me and cherie was on the cab,

we still laughing.

cause is really funny.

hahahahaha.

i dont know what happened to me???

everyday i will do somethings stupid.

so idiot!!!

it happened continuous for 3 days.

somethings is really wrong.

going to find job on tuesday *not confirm yet

pray hard for me that, someone will hire me.

cause i really need a job!!!

things happened around me is some how link to you.

2006-11-03T20:53:00.000+08:00

photos time. :D

at the airport.

WHEEEEE~~~

we FLY~~~

qinghua;pull mummy;cherie

me;cherie

tiffany's "nice" legs :p

still got somemore but is me and cherie.

so not going to post it.

and we didnt take much photos too.

laugh laugh laugh

2006-11-03T17:27:00.000+08:00

today was hilarious.

early in the morning alot of SHUI things happened.

first: lost of props room key, so all our guitars was lock in the props room.

so must wait for the CO to find the key as they are the last who use it.

second: we CANT use MPR again. we only can use it on next friday onwards

third: cant find classrooms key and again, CO TOOK IT.

is like dont know how many times this is happening, cause of CO we will either start cca later or someone have to go home later just to find the KEY!!!

fourth: photocopy machines cant use cause dont have the toner * i dont know what the hell is that, they said is the ink.

so SHUI!!!

after lunch break, cca was more fun!!!

the song "YESTERDAY" was nice.

i love it, i think i have the song.

the song "TEA FOR TWO",

caryn go change the name become:

"TWO FOR TEA"

two dollars for tea??? hahaha.

after cca, stay back and fix strings.

THANKS MR CHOO *i will stop screaming

for helping me to fix the strings.

and i said somethings funny when we fixing the strings.

and everyone is making fun of it.

so funny.

laughing and laughing and laughing

cherie fetch me, sarah, sindy and olivia home.

and we was squeezing at the back.

and of course, we laugh again.

cause they will still making fun of the things that i said.

and we from school laughed all the way to eastpoint.

FUNNY MAN!!!

SACPS tomorrow.

need to wake up early again.

but i think is okies.

hope tomorrow will be fun!

enjoy

27 more days to GUITAR GRADE 1 EXAMINATION

Suffocating

2006-11-02T22:32:00.000+08:00

so piss with someone now.

cause of that person my whole plan is ruin.

waste all my time, must well leave everythings to that person.

this few days, that person really piss me off.

i really hope this wont carry on.

cause people have their limits.

i not excited for somethings that going to happen.

cause of some words the whole thing might be change.

so piss off now.

is like me and some people efforts gone in to the drain.

damn piss off.

my life is not right now.

i like living aimlessly.

wth is this going on now.

this totally su**.

i hate it.

DIE?!

guitar.

2006-11-02T16:54:00.000+08:00

i made a very stupid mistake in the early morning.

in the morning when angelyn was talking with me on MSN and we talk and talk.

and guess what, all along i thought angelyn is cherie cause to me their nick very familiar. so after talking for 20 mins or so, then i realise is not cherie but angelyn.

i feel so stupid to make that mistake.

until now i still cant believe i made this kind of mistake.

i dont know, this few days i made alot of stupid mistakes.

meet up angelyn, cherie and sherrill at simei MRT, im late. hehehe.

but im not the worst!

tiffany late for like 30mins or so.

then we head to AIRPORT.

didnt get to take skytrain.

went to BK and discuss stuff.

took some photos,

will update soon when i get it from sherrill.

me and cherie came up some games.

hope the ensemble will enjoy it.

so wait for the day to come.

hahahahaha

im down for prefect camps.

and is overnight.

I LOVE OVERNIGHT CAMPS!!!

so i wont go for the music leaders camp for guitar.

actually they are still nice people on this earth.

i going to enjoy all my camps.

28 days to GUITAR GRADE 1 EXAMINATION

still some caring.

2006-11-01T21:43:00.000+08:00

wanna thanks TIFFANY and ETHEL, they help me alot and tiffany told me this: PATIENCE IS THE KEY!!! i totally agree with it.although i will still be sad or what i still need to have patience. work on it.

realise, tiffany can be really nice, and she changed too.but last time she also nice but now nicer. hahaha.

cca,

got to audition people again, and none of them have any music backgrounds. but one of the girl she was quite good. she at least know somethings but this is due to the teaching that her father give her. hahaha.but i dont know whether they will be accepted anot.

my bass people, work hard. if not got extra practice, most probably will be next week.

we need to work extra hard.

BASS WORK HARD!!!

thoughts: we still got the never start cca on time. really need to work on it cause this problem keep on happened for dont know how long!!!realise people really trying their best except one or two.somehow quite happy about it.actually cant say happy but maybe like *fang xin*. if dont understand forget it, cause i donno how to say it. maybe you people deserve a well done?!

committee meeting tomorrow, at airport. hope they will want to take skytrain, i dont know why, i love to take skytrain. somehow cause of some things.

tomorrow will be a fun day, i guess. (:

*29 days to GUITAR EXAMINATION

dont know, dont care

2006-11-01T09:08:00.000+08:00

this words: dont know dont care, is what i always heard from them. and now i think is my turn to use it. cause the same old stupid things is keep on repeating and everytime it repeat, i will get hurt. maybe dont care will really make me feel better. what the hell. the whole damn things is happening again. no one learn from it. and everytimes repeat it. what the fuck with the whole damn world again!!!!!!

what the hell is friends for? im trying to figure out this question last night. but i still cant get a answer.it seem like no answer to me. friends is some people that i love to enjoy with but it also some people that cause me to cry. what crap is all this so what is friends???

totally no mood for cca later. should i go? but im already going.

i really dont want to affect my cca but now it is affecting.

cried the whole night. no more tears but until now i still feel like crying.

posting now again. got to end here and now.

what the ****

hide.

2006-10-31T14:45:00.000+08:00

finishing watching GOONG!!!

i cried like donno what for the last two episode.

so sad and touching and of course FUNNY!!!!

LOVE IT TO BITS!!!

going to watch it again!!! (:

so confuse now, my heart suddenly got so many feeling bursting out!!!Suffocating!!!

this not going to work. i totally feel like dying. im escaping.im afraid.

no one is there now, not you or even you. is this all hopeless???

i donno what happen?i cant communicate with u.im so scare of you now.in one sudden, we are so far apart until i donno whether you are still there?until i cant feel any sense of you there.what wrong??is the promise going to gone useless? or im just too sensitive. i dont dare to get near you.is just like the old feeling that we use to having during all the pass few holiday. i thought this time round it going to change, but it seem like, it going to be same. i guess, we will never meet the promise or you going to prove me wrong???

it is you that i.........

enjoy

2006-10-30T16:15:00.000+08:00

this few day, keep on getting tired very easily.

went to meet mayvelle and niying at around 12.

first stop: burger king. niying brought 3 large fries and eat with mayvelle.after eating go popular to find book. then i went home to take ez-link card while they go arcade and play.after meeting them go challenger to find stuff. then after that head to TM and go popular again to find books. and of course arcade again!!!play play play. oh! i saw sindy and petrina. hahaha. then we walk around, go mini toons, long john blah blah blah. quite fun. oh! mayvelle way of calling aunty is funny. make me and niying laugh. hahaha. then we keep on giving each other electrical shock. so funny and painful. hahaha.enjoy myself today. thanks to niying and mayvelle. (:

so piss by someone now. ARGH!!!watching goong soon again. and now watching the second last episode i guess. damn nice. so sad and lovely too. love the show! it just rock!!!!

have some thoughts:

never give up somethings cause of one small little problem.try to overcome it. plus, there will always be problems in your life that you need to face and not escape from it and people go through all this problems in order to grow as they had learnt somethings from it. *think about it.

happiness is what everyone chasing for

and sadness is what everyone want to kick away,

but it seem that sadness always revolve around people.

finding jobs

2006-10-29T13:47:00.000+08:00

finding a job soon.

suprisingly my mother allow me to work.

got alot of things need to buy.

hopefully i can really find a job.

then i will be quite busy,

cause at the same time need to prepare for exam.

hope i can cope with everythings,

and work it out well.

short message to my good friends, let me start with alicia. hahahha.

alicia: different class. but never mind. u need to study 24 hours per day to get ur ass up to 3/4 no matter what. and i will wait for the day that the girl who standing behind me will be you again. so good to have u as my friend for the past two years.thanks.we will be friends until the day i die.

niying: same class. donno is it good or bad. but hope is good. hahaha. anyway, ur fishy here. will everydays come and bother you so get ur ears ready. hahaha. oh!tennis, all the best in it. still remember what i tell u? if u forget, i going to pump u to the sun and then u will "caoda" muhahaha. so fun to have u as my friend.

mayvelle:U!!! work hard. like alicia study ur ass off to 3/4. hahaha. oh. i realise i dont really understand u well maybe one day i should try to understand u. find job!!! hope we can get a job. really need it. so yah. anyway, luck luck, especially in ur LOVE. hahahahaha.

danielle: u can be really crazy sometimes. hahaha. this is what i just realise. hahaha.hopefully, our next year prefect life will be much better than this year. hehehe. anyways...yah. luck for next year. and i just realise we are doing most of the things together. hahahaha.

really gonna miss my friends lot.

they are just one part of my life.

friends is somethings to treasure.

once u loss it, it is very difficult to get it back.

and friendship will be never-ending.

loss once and learn to treasure it billion times of it.

friendship

2006-10-28T09:12:00.000+08:00

26 oct: worst day of my life

result. at first i didnt try to make myself remember it. but when the time that we getting back the result, i getting more and more scared. I HATE IT!!! although i got into the best class, with some of my friends but seeing one of my another friend got to a class she hate plus only herself not with her friends. i really feel like joining her or what so ever. seeing all my friend cry was really bad, and seeing them cry when you cant do anythings to help them is totally like a useless feeling. WTH!!! why must this happened to us? i cant get use to it that from next year onward, that friend that girl that alicia who standing behind me wont be her but will be someone i hate i dont like!!! life is getting more and more meaningless.

result: 1A, 2Bs, 6Cs and 1U-grade.

i also get to take o level math and chinese in the year 2008 which mean for the next two year i get to study express math and chinese. and i had accepted both. i dont know will i get stress up or can i cope anot!? i dont know the decision is correct or wrong?! my life is suddenly so corrupted!!! why must i get spilt up with my friends? getting into a best class is not a good thing too................

27 oct: it wont be the last but the first

went to bowling today. and half of my nail broke. cause too long. hehehe. enjoy it!!! althought i didnt join in the fun and play with them but seeing them play it still really nice. knowing that they are still enjoying themselve is more then enough. although we get to spilt up but it doesnt mean we cant go out together, have lunch together, say hello in school or what so ever. we will still be friend.

feel like doing somethings for them, actually everyone of them is really very important to me.

28 oct: still wanna play

i realise my parent seem to dont care me anymore, they didnt even see my report book until i put it infront of them. are they that busy until they cant sign the form or take a look at my result or even ask me things that concern my school stuff. they will just everydays ask me what time coming back from school, scold me for going out when i already didnt really go out or scold me for going back to school when is holiday and saying that cca is not important but my result. but cca is just like another part of my life, without it my life will be incomplete. and not it already incomplete cause of the separating with friends.

why parents always want their child to understand them or the way they teach us but why cant they understand us or know what we need, what we like and what we dont like???

my study start again. cause of the class i going next year and the subject i taking, everyone is telling me not to play anymore, is time to study. but now is holiday. why must my life only be study study and study???

is this gonna be a test???

but its a bit too long, cause is 3 years!!!